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This is a question Churches, temples and holy places

Tell us about the times you've been to a place of worship, and - this being b3ta - how you are now consigned to the everlasting fires of Hell.

(, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:50)
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Great, it must have been a sign.
I am not religious, but I love religions... for the history and stories, but mainly for the architecture. I love visiting cathedrals and the like. Marvelling at how these huge structures were created all those years ago.

Rewind wavy lines 10 years ago ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The very last time I went into a church I realised I was in there at the wrong time. It was a catholic 'church???' and I happened to go in whilst the god botherers were giving out wine and biscuits. I sat down at the back, taking in all the architecture, not having a clue what was really going on.

It came to the point where everyone got up and started to walk to the front, I thought it rude for me to take 'communion??!?!' as I am not Catholic, but some old chap near me ushered me to the front, where I fumbled and copied what everyone else was doing. I felt like a tit. It soon ended so I was able to escape. I lived 3 minutes away on my bike (pedal) which was chained to the railings outside. I may have had a few pints that lunch (6) in the students union, and perhaps a few shots too... I was looking forward to getting back to my digs, to smoke drink more and play on my dial up internet connection.

I unchain my bike, hop on... it's a major road so all my cycling was conducted on the pavement. 100 yards down the road is a narrow road that forms a really awkward 5 junction intersection. There are traffic lights, blind spots, and heavy heavy traffic as this was early evening commuter time.

So I decide to do what I had done never before (I am really usually cautious normally) (I ride at a walking pace) (rode) but for some reason this evening I was trundling along, I glanced to my left, saw nothing, proceeded to cross this narrow road. BANG... I was full sideon hit by a ford mondeo. I was knocked out cold. Luckilly this was outside my local pub and everyone rushed out to cover me in coats and make sure I wasn't dead. Minutes later I had the whole of the Hagley road shut. Paramedic motorbikes, two ambulances, and a plethora of police vehicles surrounding me. If you've ever woken up in the middle of the street, hurty with a man in a helmet staring at you then you will realise you may be in a bad situation*.

So my story to keep this on track kids, is never take communion when you're not religious, you will get run over. This is also why I will never ride again, and haven't been into a church since next time I will be hit by a meteorite.

*I was ok, just bruised and battered, however I had to take out all my piercings for the full body xrays and couldn't bend to put them back in, I also had a cough at the time which when you have bruised ribs is not a pleasant experience. My heap of shite solid metal 4 million year old mountain bike took most of the brunt of the force, it was really mangled. The guy admitted going through a light right as it was changing, I was asked if I wanted to take it further but couldn't be arsed. He had to get a new bumper and bonnet.
(, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 16:56, 6 replies)
Good story.
You also get a click for "giving out wine and biscuits".
(, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 20:05, closed)
An adult cyclist, cycling on the pavement, gets run down whilst crossing the road?
I think I like this story for all the wrong reasons.
(, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 20:24, closed)

I never understood why people don't like people on the pavement... I always wait for people, I never raced about, I didn't ever come blasting up to people (like a kid did to me the other day) and where I was living at the time it would have been suicide to go on the road... On the back streets I would go onto the road, and where I lived growing up I would too... But I appreciate many people will enjoy hearing of my knock down!
(, Tue 6 Sep 2011, 22:29, closed)
Bikes belong on the road (exceptions for small children, obviously).
Where I work, the roads are perfect for cycling (wide, not too much traffic), but the pavements are chock full of adults on their bikes, many of whom seem to think they have right of way. Gets on my nerves.

Kudos to you for not riding like a twat, but do get off and push if your pissed, please.
(, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 8:12, closed)
Living in Cambridge
I understand completely why people object to bikes being on the pavement. It's not so bad where the pavements are clearly marked for bikes being allowed on them because you realise you should watch out for cyclists, however many still whiz past way too fast and one guy shouted at me the other day for stepping towards him while he was going around me, even though he hadn't rung his bell so I had no idea he was there! However bikes on the pavement where they shouldn't be really piss me off. There are lots of streets in Cambridge too narrow for people to walk on comfortably, don't try and cycle on the pavement there!!!

P.S. Drivers do some idiotic things where cyclists are concerned too. There are very few innocent parties when it comes to this row...
(, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 13:32, closed)
Nice story,
I really liked this, Clickety.
(, Wed 7 Sep 2011, 14:21, closed)

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