Lots of disparate things to get through, bear with me.:
Cartoons. Remember when they were slightly more than an extended toy advert? I don't understand why anyone would willingly expose themselves to any cartoon made in the last ten years. I recently gave my friend's eight year old daughter a box set of Animaniacs, and even she with her tiny idiot child mind can tell the difference in quality. The same goes for animé; it's not edgy and cool, it's the Japanese equivalent of Ben 10. Unless it's Evangelion. That was excellent.

Hip-hop: Well, lots of it, anyway. I adore cLOUDDEAD, and dälek, and that album Bong-Ra did with those Dutch rap singers, but why do people go potty for some bell-end in ill-fitting pants talking about how many cars he's got over a tidied-up, super-compressed sample from Give The Drummer Some? For fuck's sake, learn to play the drums and come up with your own beats, you prick. Same goes for every copy and paste breakcore artist using the same Amen break in 5/4 because Venetian Snares does it. Fuck off.

Folk Metal: What? What? Playing generic late 80's thrash is bad enough in itself, but why do you have to add a fucking washboard and lute? What's worse is going to one of the European metal festivals and watching a crowd sullenly tolerate a band like Pig Destroyer, then go fucking nuclear when the next band launches into a brutal penny whistle solo. YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

Metallica: Yeah, and Slayer. Great stepping stones for kids to listen to in order to exapnd their tastes and discover new, exciting music, but why do so many of them get stuck there? Slayer haven't written a great album since 1986, and Metallica have never put together a consistent record of truly great songs, yet they get these diehard oafs that slavishly buy their every bloated release and treat it like it was manna from heaven. Fuck off and progress a little, buy an Absu album if you like Slayer, or some Prong if you like Metallica, and see what you could have won.

Abusive porn: As my lady lives 200 miles away, I'm an occasional patron of sites like Redtube. Why are there adverts all over it for sites like 18 And Abused? Puts me right off, that. It's just impolite.

Mayonnaise: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? It's filth!

Editors: They sound like Scott Walker laughing at Ian Curtis because he can't get it up, and they've paid £30 for this hooker and hahaha, Ian's going to be out of pocket on this one! There's also a broken Casio in the hotel room. And it's raining, and the window is open.

Yeah.

EDIT: ALSO! Nintendo. Why do they get all the lovingly printed shirts and retro chic? The consoles were ugly, the games were mostly terrible and Mario is a cunt. Sonic was way better. And Final Fantasy VII, that was shit too. As was every Square RPG since Secret of Mana, which wasn't really very good. Give me Dodonpachi Daifukkatsu, please; a game that actually does something.
( Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:23, 16 replies)

Im going to click this
purely on the basis of the Editors reference alone!
(anvil, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:31, closed)

Cartoons got really terrible (cheap) from about the mid 70's till mid 90's then a lot of them got better, there is still bad stuff about but plenty watchable stuff now.
(Benzyl, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:34, closed)

I want to click this
I so very do. My my mouse won't do it due to my insaitable love for Turisas, Korpiklaani, Finntroll, Eluvitie and the rest
(stimpy, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:36, closed)

I liked that Turisas photoshoot where they were putting swords in people and being Vikings.
I just like to hear the blast, without somebody plucking a hautboy over it. I blame Max Cavalera, if he hadn't filled a Sepultura album with that fucking Brazillian twangy thing then none of this would have happened.
( Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:38, closed)

Probably
It's different metal for different people. I'm not a huge fan of thrash myself - I like to be able to pick out the different instruments, not just have one big blur of noise all the time.

At least Max hasn't tried pulling that with Soulfly... yet.
(stimpy, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:10, closed)

There's at least one Soulfly song
where Max's guitar part is literally a trem picked open B string. For the entire song. He shall not escape my wrath.
( Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:14, closed)

Hahahahah
Brutal penny whistle solo.

Great post. I love folk metal though. To me me the POINT of metal is that it's ridiculous. Always. What could be more ridiculous than a brutal penny whistle solo.
( Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:13, closed)

You have a point, it's great for Spinal Tap shits and giggles
but it's the people who take it deadly seriously and wear woad to gigs and call themselves Ethelred The Unwieldy even though they're from Stockport and work in Curry's that annoy me.
( Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:17, closed)

...(and amen on the mayonnaise)
Whistles. On her own. Brutally.
(Good Penny, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:24, closed)

unfortunately you are wrong about metallica
they are cocks this true, but they are awesome live and they can actually write songs unlike most shitty metal bands.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:35, closed)

Name a Metallica album with no obviously half-arsed, written in the studio filler then.
Clichéd lyrics, hammy chord structures, tired vocals, atrocious drumming and bloated production are what they do. Live, they're alright, but that's because they play the few radio hits they bothered to shit out between lines, pints and born again christian idiot sessions.

I don't like Metallica. Being a diehard fan of theirs and claiming most other bands to be talentless is like professing to be a master of fantasy fiction because you have Fellowship of the Ring on copied DVD, and haven't even bothered to watch it.
( Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:40, closed)

the drumming is quite bad, I'll give you that
hammy chord structures isn't something you can level at them though. As far as rhythm guitar parts go they are far superior to most metal bands because they do something a bit different from the normal chugging and thrashing.

show me a metal band whose lyrics aren't clichéd as well.

for the record, as well as being a massive metallica fan (except st anger, that was a massive piece of shit) I also enjoy a huge range of other bands, a lot of whom are better in many ways.

last time I saw them live they played a bunch of songs that weren't the radio hits and it was still brilliant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:51, closed)

Vastly ironically, I think St. Anger is great.
Simply because you get all the true necro hordes that eulogise black metal because of the terrible production, who went mad because St. Anger had a crap snare and was badly mixed. Fuck that, it's Darkthrone 'tallica! Sadly the songs are all pants.

Lyrically I like bands like Discordance Axis/Gridlink, with the interesting use of adjectives and obscure video game references, or Circle Takes The Square with their huge, sprawling poems reminiscent of T S Eliot. Or Amesoeurs, who had the gall to put a Baudellaire poem to music. That speaks to me far more than a tired alcoholic suffering a mid-life crisis...
( Angry Boss Bee I love horses, death to other animals, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 13:58, closed)

I have a real dislike of the snare sound on st anger
sounds like he is hitting a saucepan. don't care what anyone else thinks about it. Those songs are the worst lyrically with regard to going on about the alcoholism and stuff.

To be honest I don't listen to Metallica for the quality or meaning of the lyrics. As a guitarist I like what they do with their guitar parts, the staccato breaks on a lot of stuff on Death Magnetic are excellent examples of good metal song crafting.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:04, closed)

slayer
totally agree on the slayer bit. boring wank. a mate bought me a slayer dvd a few years ago. live at warfield. www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHNIv9fQ5M0

wonder why metal fans get a bad name? check it.
(TexasPete enjoyed being sexually molested by your Father on, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 13:22, closed)

Metallica
I like Megadeth, can't stand Metallica though. A lot of hate does come the way of ol' Dave Mustaine 'cause of them: as far as I see it Lars tends to kick out, kill or suffocate all the talented members and continuse to vomit out the same old James Hetfield "my daddy never loved me" tripe.

Then again, I will probably get shouted down for this, even though having seen both bands live several times Megadave were clearly superior (although not being a professional musician I am hardly one to talk). Shame Dave can't just write decent songs all the time.
This post is clearly for a youtube page though.

Bonus points for annoying you all with my grammar and post construction.


Like this.
(forthejest thinks this is the Endgame, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 1:13, closed)