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With the Pope about to visit the UK, what better time to unburden yourself of anything that's weighing on your mind by posting it on the internet? Pay particular attention to the Seven Deadly Sins of lust, greed, envy, pride, posting puns on the QOTW board and the other ones. Top story gets to kneel before His Holiness's noodly appendage, or something

(, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:47)
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Speaking of cats and bins...
So there I was, watching TV at home one Sunday and the phone rings.

"Hello Mr Punch," my sister says cheerily, "that's us just landed at Gatwick, are you still OK to pick us up from Aberdeen Airport later on?"

"Er, yes, of course."

Oh fuck. I'd forgotten I said I'd do that. I'd forgotten that she'd gone off on two weeks holiday. And I'd also forgotten...

"How are the cats?"

...that I said I'd look after her three cats.

"Oh, they're, um, fine," I gulped before hanging up and banging my head on the wall a few times.

A rapid drive to her house. Please let them still be alive, please let them still be alive, I repeat like a mantra through the journey.

Thank god, three live cats greet me as I push the back door open. The kitchen and hall show that the cats have scoured the bin / rubbish bags (which I was supposed to put out) for every last morsel of sustenance.

Next, feed and water the cats (they'd drunk two toilets almost dry) and a frantic 2-hour tidy-up of the litter-strewn kitchen and hall.

Give the cats more food. A final check of the house and the cats, and I set off to pick her and her brood up from the airport.

To my eternal credit, I brazened it out and neither she nor the kids were any the wiser. She even commented on how well the cats looked, and how very very very very pleased they were to see the family back. And I got a bottle of something Spanish for my endeavours.

I've done some really terrible things in my time, but for some reason this one still haunts me.
(, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 19:15, closed)
0_0 Fucking hell!
You have some balls to admit this right in the face of the Coventry Cat-Binning Controversey.

Where these 'outsidey' type cats with cat flap access, or did they spend the enite fortnight in the house?
(, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 23:09, closed)
its not funny
but im laughing a lot!

Glad the cats were ok. poor buggers. just left to rot. Amazing survival skills. I assume they didnt have access to outside hence ripping the bins up to shreds.
(, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:05, closed)
i bet the goldfish were missing

(, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 21:29, closed)

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