Karma be damned
I fucked someone on my honeymoon who wasn't my new wife.

I've kept this quiet for 4 years now, and in case anybody is wondering, I have paid for it many times over in terms of guilt, and the fact that my life has been shit ever since. We start divorcing next month.

Sorry for lack of funneh, but sort of glad to get it off my chest in 'public' as it were.

EDIT : Yes, I am a very bad man.
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 14:10, 37 replies)

If this isnt an Accord Moment...
How did that happen?! Surely on your honeymoon you're together far too long for anyones eyes to stray let alone sleeping with someone else.

As for your guilt, I think you got away lightly. If she found out you'd be lucky to have your life. How long were you married?
(MissFlee tried again on, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 14:24, closed)

No Honda's involved
I don't want to go into the details to be honest, but why on earth would I make something like that up? To impress people?
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 14:31, closed)

you can top
the story off by telling us how much you paid, maybe.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 14:42, closed)

No money exchanged hands
no prostitutes, no massive drugs, no Honda Accords.
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 14:44, closed)

Didn't you know?
Everyone tells lies on QOTW, about everything.

Nothing is true. Even when it is true, it's still bullshit.

No one posting on the internet has ever fucked anyone else, ever.
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Fri 27 Aug 2010, 16:15, closed)

^ this
But if you post a story about wanking, obviously it's gospel. Even moreso if you've splooged in your girlfriends Mums knicker drawer.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 16:18, closed)

^ "splooged"
*chuckles*
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 16:54, closed)

Even I've splooged in your girlfriends Mums knicker drawer.
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 17:51, closed)

Oh come on
Don't leave us hanging. Details?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 16:31, closed)

Ok
She was a Texan girl, whose mum had apparently been asked out by Bill Clinton as a kid in Arkansas (the shit you remember?).. We checked into a hotel around the corner. She gave very good head. Wife was a bit of a lightweight, had gone to bed early. On the way back I rolled around on the beach, then I told her I'd passed out there. I am that classy.

Still no funnehs I'm afraid. I'd hate for her to find out, because she did not deserve to have been treated like that.
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 18:02, closed)

I know how you feel
I had sex with someone else while I was still engaged (and a few times before we were engaged). The guilt wracked up so hard, that I had to come clean about it. Then followed one of the toughest weeks I've ever been through, it was worse than when my dad died.

Luckily she forgave me, and we've now been happily married for over a year.
(spaceLem, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 15:50, closed)

shame...
she won't trust you like she used to
(lemonadegame, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 23:59, closed)

So...
...you put your nob in someone's ladygarden.

I don't know why women make a big deal out of it. No-one hurt and no harm done.
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 18:44, closed)

I'd love to know
If she would see it the same way, but thanks for the support(?).
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:14, closed)

Obvious troll is obvious.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:14, closed)

I'm
a troll?
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:19, closed)

Looks a hell of a lot like it.
If you'd said 'people' instead of 'women', I would probably think otherwise.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:24, closed)

^This
Has me confused.
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:28, closed)

Well, I have heard tell that men make a big deal out of cheating too.
So singling out women sounds to me like he's trying to piss people off. Perhaps this is not the case, in which case I retract my landing gear troll statement.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:33, closed)

I'd like
to think you're mistaken.

I was making the point that no harm has been done.

He didn't shag another bloke whilst on his honeymoon after marrying a bloke did he? Hence the term 'women'.
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:38, closed)

Bit much of a generalisation though, isn't it?
I read it as 'tchah, those women, always getting into a flap about a little thing like their husband fucking around'.

I should also point out that I agree 'cheating' isn't such a big deal; it's just your phrasing I regard as shenanigans.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:43, closed)

Fair point
Just read it back and it does seem a bit like that.

I suppose I really actually DID mean people instead of women, but I honestly wasn't trolling, it's just what rolled of the fingers so to speak.

I was trying to put a new washing machine in with my misses giving me grief at the time, so it could have been a subtle Freudian slip.
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:46, closed)

God cocking dammit, I'm arguing on the internet again.
Fucking SIWOTI syndrome. I'm away to get chips. dchurch, don't shag argue with anyone else while I'm away.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:47, closed)

Ha
I had to look that up.

I'll try not to.
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:49, closed)

Excellent.
And now, I propose beer.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:49, closed)

To paraphrase Homer Simpson...
Beer is the answer to, and the cause of, all the worlds problems.

Sounds like a plan to me! Especially as it's bank holiday!
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 20:16, closed)

bank wank
(Bluntphilly trying to loose wait, Sat 28 Aug 2010, 1:21, closed)

I think I brained my damage.

( DeadEyeDick, Sat 28 Aug 2010, 2:49, closed)

I think your sig sums it up! :)

( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:40, closed)

Ha, yes.
dchurch, I call shenanigans!
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:41, closed)

Funnily enough, you are both some of my favorite b3tans. Have a *click*. I'd have a beer with you.
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 20:06, closed)

I also love the fact
You've had a little bit of 'handbags at dawn' over something that's terrorized my dreams for 4 years, and now you're choosing curtains together
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 20:13, closed)

Ha ha
gotta love those Interwebs!
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 20:23, closed)

Apparently, it's a series of tubes. !!11!!!1!! Win!

( DeadEyeDick, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 20:34, closed)

Women have terrorised your dreams for over four years?

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 21:04, closed)

Yes. I am now a gayer. Or not. Dunno!
( DeadEyeDick, Sat 28 Aug 2010, 2:01, closed)

I can see how that might be a problem.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sun 29 Aug 2010, 14:57, closed)