I must confess
I don't like football.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 23:47, 12 replies)

that's because it is surrounded by shit
the game itself is simple and, probably, enjoyable. the absolutely ridiculous, retarded, trogloditic fanaticism that surrounds it is pathetic.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 23:50, closed)

Sounds about right.

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 23:53, closed)

Nah
The game itself is tedious in the extreme. I tried to get myself interested in football during the 1998 World Cup by watching matches while sitting on the exercise bike at my gym - so about as far from the traditional footie atmosphere as you can get - and I still left after 15 minutes.

Another thing is that if you suddenly decide to start watching football after a lifetime's abstinence, you feel extremely excluded. When people talk about rugby, for example, they usually talk about what happened on the pitch during the previous match, and occasionally about any injuries/scandals that have popped up over the past few months. People who talk about football drone on for hours about Player X's form when he played for Club Y five years ago and they got to the quarter-finals in some obscure tournament forming part of the Football Association's trophy octopus that serves only to drive up the price of commemorative silverware. If you haven't already been following football for years you have no fecking clue what they're on about and it's stultifying.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 7:00, closed)

i do think it's dull
but it serves a purpose. it keeps kids active, healthy and entertained, so i'm willing to put up with the game itself, as long as i don't have to deal with the supporters or hype
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 17:34, closed)

Totally agreed
I used to love association football as a yute. Running around a field with my mates, cheering when we scored, feeling deflated when we were getting hammered, feeling proud enough to burst when beating the keeper with a screamer from the edge of the penalty area yet trotting nonchalantly back to the other half of the pitch full of false modesty as it wasn't the done thing to congratulate yourself. Occasionally actually seeing football on the television, complete with fancy graphics that showed the team lineup and a replica of their strip before kick-off. Shoot magazine and Panini sticker albums.

I was gutted when I went to a rugby-playing school but was quickly seduced, although I still held a secret love for "Kevball", however some time in the early 90s I realised that it had somehow morphed into an over-commercialised, over-exposed, over-analysed circus which was everywhere you looked, complete with talking heads with their own peculiar grammar. In my day footballers were popular heroes like Kevin Keegan and Gary Lineker, now they're millionaire rapists and wife-beaters. Beautiful game? Not to me.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 16:48, closed)

that's the problem
it's not a game any more
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 17:34, closed)

That's because it's singularly boring.
or rather, as Smash says - mildly entertaining, but followed by neaderthal idiots.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:22, closed)

I think there's a far simpler explanation.....
...you are all frightfully queer.

*switches telly over to Sky Sports*

*turns up volume*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 1 Sep 2010, 10:52, closed)

No...
"frightfully queer" are the gaybos who run about pulling their shirts off and kissing each other, legs wrapped around each others waists. I long for the day when a goal scorer turns his back on the goal and nonchalantly walks back to the centre circle.
( Ramsay Tupper, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:33, closed)

A friend of mine has a T-shirt that I love
It is black and it's says on the front, in small, neat text 'football is bent'. Magnificently simple.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:46, closed)

An occasional football watcher writes
Personally I can take or leave football. I don't support anyone. To be honest, most games are fairly dull if you have no stake in the outcome. Once in a long while there will be a match which aproaches the sublime but they are really quite few and far between.
(unclestinky, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 15:52, closed)

Ah, but which kind?
I tell people I don't like soccer, as it tends to annoy them even more.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 16:37, closed)