This one time...
I found a wallet in the street containing £50. I would have turned it in, but I like money too much, so I kept it and spent it on four prime steaks and a keg of beer, all of which I finished that very day. I was kind of drunk so I did that facebook thing of looking at an ex-girlfriend's profile, and to my horror her picture was her next to a new boyfriend with perfect washboard abs. I looked down at my own moobs and pot belly and was flushed with jealousy, so as revenge I printed out a picture of her and spludged over it eight times in two hours. I was still angry, and would have sent her a vitriolic message or something, but I couldn't be bothered.

I would say I'm ashamed, but I'm not, I'm very proud of it.

(any relation to real events is purely coincidental)
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:36, 11 replies)

girl i went to college with in cape town found an envelope containing R10 000
rather than hand it in (she thought it was probably drug money) she treated herself to a boobjob and a weekend away, as you do...
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:40, closed)

Wow
I've often wondered what I'd do if I actually found a large sum of money just lying around (the story above is something of a falsehood, sad to say). I reckon I'd probably get a boob job too.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:43, closed)

yeah i also do
she kept hold of it for a month before spending it, to see if any orphanages etc shouted about in the papers. That said, that amount of money in a brown paper envelope is a bit suspicious...
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:45, closed)

I reckon
some gangster got knifed over that. She'd better have bloody good boobs now.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:46, closed)

I wonder
how much it would cost just to buy a really nice pair of tits, but without the woman attached to the back of them?
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 13:58, closed)

you can get knitted ones online
they use them for breastfeeding practice
and they're warmer than plastic! result
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:00, closed)

If I'd known that when
I was 13 . . .
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:10, closed)

wait, what...
according to google R10,000 is only 879 pound, can you get a boob job for that little?
(Lannes, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:11, closed)

Just the one boob

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:15, closed)

10 years ago the Rand was a bit stronger...
and boobs a bit cheaper
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 14:16, closed)

My GF makes them (knitted boobs)
to help teach women to breastfeed (she's a midwife).

She also made 'em in different colours as 'booby prizes' for her rugby team.
( Duncan Disorderly, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 23:16, closed)