Nuremberg hooker
I went to the FIFA world cup last year in Nuremberg. We held a stag night whilst we were there. One of the guys we were with Tom had lived there for over a year and knew the place well. On the stag night we had been on the lash all day it was about 3am and in the dire nead of a shag. Tom has the fine idea of going to a brothel. So we go to the red light district, which is - as far as im aware legal. there were coppers walkin passed us not battering an eye lid as the prozzies hung out of their windows to the street haggling with prices to the all male passers by.

Haggling is quite an ironic word because 90% of them were hust that - haggish. How these women make money is beyond me.

anyway, we walk passed one girl who is about 22, she is fit, curvy and has nice tits. 60 euros for a shag she says in german to my friend. I accept and out of 10 of my friends am the first one to make a deal that night. i am congradulated and cheered as I leave my friends and follow the girl into her booudwha.

Ok so i walk in - hand over the money and lie down on the bed. i get undressed - her orders.

she gets undressed down to her waist. fine, i thought, maybe she wants me to undress her. she starts to wank me off, i start to feel her up, but she wont let me near her knickers.... it then becomes clear that of all songs to be played in the background, I hear Thriller by michael jackson... a real mood setter.

After approx 15 minutes I stop the girl wanking me and say something along the lines of " we do sexy now?" -= she spoke broken english, but what she said cut the moment like a knife..... " no sexy just shakey shakey..." oh no I thought, uive been duped into paying 60 euros for a wank. Then she made it clear i had 5 minutes left to jizz or I would be thrown out. Again this setting the prefect mood along with Michael jackosn still playing in the background.

I make it claer that her wanking isnt really as good as I could do it. She then offers me - for an extra 30 euros - she would get her friend involved and both of them would suck me off..... wow....now thats an offer.... so i hand over the 30euros, she walks next door to get her friend...

who isnt interested in doing such an act....

so 2 minutes later im back where i started getting an extra 10 minutes hand shuffling time for 30 euros. it takes me all of 3 minutes to jizz. meanign those extra minutes i paid for were for nothing.

Believe me theres no worse a feeling than getting throwin out side cock mid diflation, sobering up, in the daylight, as everyone is passing you going to work, knowing your outside a brothel, dishevled knwoing youve paid 90 euros for a wank...

oh the humanity.

Length? it went flaccid so many times because of the song 'thriller' follwoed by '500 miles' by the proclaimers. I mean come on.... how hard is it to play sexy music....especially in a brothel.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 11:51, 9 replies)

Hate to break it too you but....
Did you not think the girl was a pre-op transexual.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 12:46, closed)

Gee
Ya think?
( Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 13:20, closed)

R.e
she was defo a girl. no adams apple, girl hands... plus she had no buldge down below - she was wearing slik knickers.

but saying that I have never come to that conclusion before... I think she was just very savvy and knew this was my first time with a hooker... i was nervous as hell.

you have just given me 10 minutes of self questioning panick....

I am 100% sure she was a girl.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 14:34, closed)

So Pre-Op she had
A bbc3 documentary made about "her".
( Monty Propps, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 16:32, closed)

I too suspect a tranny.
The adams apple is a minor surgery to get rid of, but the scars in the nether regions might not have faded yet. You got wanked by a dude.

(I have this feeling that Jacqrus is now huddled somewhere, shuddering as he contemplates the possibilities of exactly what it was that gave him that wank. And I also suspect that he'll never visit a Nuremburg hooker again, certainly not without a little shudder of revulsion rippling through him down around his balls...)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 22 Oct 2007, 16:45, closed)

......
:( oh dear god....
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 10:50, closed)

Haha
I think you're gay now
(Ellis, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 12:34, closed)

I can't believe you never expected that
As I was reading the story I just assumed that's where it was going.
As for the fact that he looked so much like a woman means little these days - ever seen 'There's something about Miriam - those guys saw him stoned cold sober for days on end and....

Do you know what, mate. Forget that. It definitely was a girl - don't let anybody tell you different. They weren't there and they never saw her.
(Creamy Discharge Freeze Motherstickers, this is a fuck up, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 6:34, closed)

Background music should have been "Walk like a Man"
€90 for a handjob off a geezer, wow, he really saw you coming.....

Could have been worse, his/her friend could have agreed to join in and you might have ended up as Lucky Pierre.

Anyway, I agree, it definitely absolutely wasn't a bloke. You keep telling yourself that when you wake up in the small hours and lay there in the silence contemplating life. It was a chick. Not a TS. Female NOT Shemale. NOT Cock-in-frock, chick-with-dick, slut-with-nuts.

Repeat often and you will become convinced. Or gay.
(Rsoles, Wed 24 Oct 2007, 11:11, closed)