Alone on a yacht...
I reviewed a cruise ship years ago (can't remember the name, I've done a lot of travel writing) but I do remember it was the highest rated cruise ship afloat at the time, had an open fire in the library (with a permanent staff member posted next to it oin case it needed putting out) and was filled with old Americans who toddled off to bed at about 9pm en masse.
Leaving me, in my tuxedo, the only person in the cocktail bar.
So there I am, sitting on the deck smoking a cigarette, sipping a scotch watching the waves go by while someone grills a lobster, pours melted butter over the top and brings it to my table by the railings.
Just myself, the view and about six staff with fuck all else to do but hover around bringing fresh drinks every time I gestured.
( difficultchild, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 7:01, 4 replies)

do you work for cruiseship weekly magazine
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 9:01, closed)

That's marvellous.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 9:33, closed)

I inspired your signature.
Now THAT's marvellous
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 10:14, closed)

The image is very appealing....
but unfortunately I have no sea legs and would no doubt have been laughed at by the crew for yacking up the lobster over railings. Yilf.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 10:15, closed)