I had a boss whose coffee had to be made exactly like this:
1 level tsp instant coffee. 2 level tsp sugar. 100ml hot water. Fill rest of mug with skimmed milk. Microwave 1 minute. Stir. Microwave 30 seconds.

If it was in any way wrong, he would refuse to drink it, come and stand behind my chair and scream at me for several minutes.
(Porcupine, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 14:06, 10 replies)

By contrast, my current boss is a massive hippy who doesn't give a shit if I roll in late and who drinks anything going

(Porcupine, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 14:19, closed)

I am two heaped coffee, one flat sugar, semi-skimmed milk to the top of the teaspoons bowl when resting in the cup and water that has dropped from boiling to roughly 92 degrees celsius.
However, no one can be trusted to make this for me as they are shitty useless wastes of skin and oxygen.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 14:32, closed)

That's similar to what my ex-boss called me. In a Scouse accent. Fiddling with his braces.

(Porcupine, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 14:38, closed)

God... you called that coffee. I suppose that when you talk about cheese
you have in mind a sheet of gooey orange substance extruded between two pieces of plastic film. And high fructose corn syrup, texturized soy protein and mechanically deboned chicken is your idea of a supper.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 1:33, closed)

youse not doing it right

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 8:40, closed)

Your old boss drinks granny coffee.
Twice as much sugar and coffee and twice as much milk as water? I fart in his general direction.

A girl in my office used to add the milk and then microwave your coffee when she made it for you, so the milk formed a skin on top of the coffee that made me physically retch the first time I drank from it without noticing. Asked for cold milk in my coffee after that.
( .Yeti., Fri 31 Oct 2014, 14:50, closed)

slag

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 14:54, closed)

Woo
Back to the coffee then.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 20:59, closed)

You did of course stick your finger up your bum and wipe it around the inside top edge of the boss's cup first?


No?

Just me then.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 9:02, closed)

That would tend to lead me to accepting about 8 screamings-at.
In order to work out the palatable level of urine in his coffee to within 1%.
(speedevil, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 9:41, closed)