Breast-related pearoast -
My ex believed that a man feeling a woman's breasts made them grow. He let this slip when we were in our early 20s, and solemnly explained that the more erotic massage the breasts received, the bigger they'd get, so it was obvious that a woman with a large bust must be a trollop.

There's more: apparently, a right-handed man must be careful not to favour his wife's left titty or she'd end up lopsided. A virtuous married woman with a big bust must have cleverly chosen a devoted boob man.

When I'd stopped laughing hysterically and picked myself up off the floor I asked, as his own mother had a huge bosom was she a slapper too?

Also, as my boobs were much smaller than his mum's it seems that I could have got away with revealing rather less about my sexual history than I had!

Why, you ask, was this rather silly belief controversial? The ex was a high school science teacher at the time, responsible for sex education. The mind boggles.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:44, 13 replies)

I think he was probably just trying to cop a feel.
Apparently (according to Mrs Vagabond, anyway), standing behind one's lady and jiggling her boobs up and down doesn't even count as "Helping with the dinner".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:50, closed)

Peel some sprouts.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:56, closed)

That's what I was trying to do.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:00, closed)

That's called weighing her boobs.
Just grab them and shout Waheeehhhyyyyyy!
(username failed moderation, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:09, closed)

It's called Helping With The Dinner and it's a very useful practice.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:17, closed)

Keeps them out of the chip pan?

( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:23, closed)

Flies off the watermelon.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:37, closed)

Since the mastectomy
I've only got 1 to compare. Supposedly it doesn't work that way...
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:04, closed)

Did you also fall for the one about sperm being good for the complexion?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:26, closed)

That's rubbish - but swallowing it does make you slim, of course

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:04, closed)

But can lead to homosexuality.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:48, closed)

don't be silly, i've done it hundreds of times and i'm not homosexual

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:58, closed)

Depends.
More than about 3 litres a day, and you could gain weight.
(speedevil, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 21:31, closed)