Egg Banjos
Simplest thing ever. Really. It's insulting but they taste so good...

Fry an egg for a bit longer than you think. Slide it between two buttered pieces of slightly old bread. Old bread doesn't enhance the taste but it's stiffer and provides support.

That's it. It's been a British Army staple since the Great War and is rightly credited with being the decisive factor (aided in part by sugary, milky tea) in every military victory we've had since then.

They're called egg banjos because you end up holding it up in one hand while you swipe up and down at the yolky front of your clothes with the other.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 29 Jun 2012, 2:47, 2 replies)

There's an old snack van outside the gate of Plymouth Navy Base...
It's been there forever, and does a triple decker egg banjo.

On any given Friday night there are so many drunk fishheads doing the Banjo wipe dance, it's like a scene from Deliverance.

Also, when you approach, a crowd of rats will scatter from underneath the van, but don't let that put you off.
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 10:26, closed)

Ha ha
Frankly if one is not already dissuaded from approaching by the assembled drunk fishheads, a gang of rats aren't going to put one off.

Actually I have no idea of the odds of accepting a beating from the men of the Senior Service. I do know that my mate Rob once referred to one out of earshot (or so he thought) as a 'skate' (this was in Portsmouth, where that's the term) and without warning found himself in head-trauma slumberland. He'd been punched so hard his jaw still clicks and grates on one side to this day.

And a triple decker banjo. That's some pimped out lumpy right there.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:02, closed)