Fish and cheese? Alright then.
This is dead simple and also fucking lovely if you happen to like fish and cheese.

The fish: red snapper, sea bream or sea bass tend to work best. The original recipe stipulates a whole fish, complete with head and scales and fins, but you can do it with fillets as well if you don't want the frankly irritating clart of picking bones out.

The cheese: a fuck ton of brie, de-rinded and chopped into rough cubes.

The other shit: butter, chopped watercress and spring onions.

The science bit: melt the butter in a pan (preferably a frying pan, and even more preferably a fucking big one.) Don't ask me how much; it all depends on how much you're cooking, innit? If you're cooking for four people a general rule of thumb is a geet massive chunk; for two people, a bit less. Once the butter is melted (stick it on a low heat then you've got time for a fag, and maybe a dangerwank), bung in the watercress and about two thirds of the spring onions and fry until they've gone soft. Or until you've gone soft after your dangerwank (if you're a bloke; if you're a lass, when you've dried up and stopped thinking about Edward fucking Cullen and his sparkly nipples. You filthy bitches).

The science bit (part two): see all of that brie you've chopped up? Take the frying pan off the heat and hoy it all in, in a manly fashion. Or a girly fashion if you're a girl, or a great big mincer. Or, a manly fashion if you're a stereotypical brogue-wearing lesbo. This is an equal opportunities recipe (unless you're a proper vegetarian, in which case, why are you reading this?) Stir the lot in together until the brie is melted in with the other shit. That's what the book says; however, I've found I usually have to keep the ring burning on a low heat to make any headway whatsoever. Maybe I've got shit, non-heat retaining pans.

Once all that gunk has melted, whack your fish into a baking tray and spoon (arf) the mixture into either (a) the cavity if you're doing the whole fish thing, or, (b) onto one fillet before putting the other fillet on top in a sandwich type fashion. Any of the mixture that's left, pour over the top of the fish and bake it in the oven for about 30 minutes on 180 degrees / gas mark 6 (ish).

When ready, sprinkle the rest of the spring onions over the top and grill until golden. Serve with whatever the fuck you like; I find a bit of rice and asparagus goes nicely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Jun 2012, 21:39, Reply)