Real baked beans
The basic quantity is one kilo of dried haricot, butter or adzuki beans.

Soak overnight and then boil for 10 minutes.

In your big poncy Le Creuset casserole fry a packet of cooking bacon cut into chunks. Add the beans, 2 tablespoons of black treacle, a tablespoon of smoked paprika, a teaspoon of chili, two tins of chopped tomatoes, Worcester sauce and the juice of a lemon. Top up with red wine to cover and boil up. Into the oven at 110 °C for 4 hours. Stir at the halfway mark, check seasoning and top up with fluid if it's drying.

If the beans are soft it's done. Add a bit more treacle, paprika and Worcester and give it another 30 minutes: it should be pretty thick and goopy. If not, uncover and boil off the wet.

Other stuff to add includes bay leaf, chili, oregano, spring onion garlic, whatever will add to the pungency of your farts.

Make no mistake, this stuff can strip wallpaper, bubble paint and make you in-laws depart in a huff.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 22:50, 6 replies)

"cooking bacon"?

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 23:01, closed)

Really cheap misshapen bacon
Most supermarkets sell packs of it. It comes in all thicknesses and it might be smoked or unsmoked. The thick smoked variety is best, but it depends on what's available.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 23:12, closed)

Fucking yum on home-made pizzas.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 30 Jun 2012, 6:54, closed)

As opposed to lady gagas wearing bacon
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 12:06, closed)

I reserve the good stuff for fucking.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 15:17, closed)

Alternatively save your time for doing something more interesting and just open a tin of baked beans.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 16:30, closed)