Of mice and trains
In the early nineties, my old man was running a company that sold the advertising/poster space owned by now-defunct British Rail. One day he got a call from a large, not-defunct American purveyor of animated mice, deer, lions and genies. They wanted to hire and run an 'exhibition train' to tour the country for a month to promote their fabled holiday resorts and films. "Sure" says my dad, eager to impress a potential source of massive business by responding to a request he knew would be pretty easy to fulfill -- his firm had been spun off from British Rail and most of his staff had worked for the railway. All anyone would have to do would be to roster some drivers to move a train full of foamex Mickeys and Bambies from town to town at night. The company and BR would make shed loads for next to no effort.

"What do you think this would cost?" asks the man in Burbank, CA. Think Michael Lerner's character in Barton Fink.

"What can you spend?" asks my dad, in an office nestled among the country's engineering firms on Newman Street W1 -- until today the most bizarre address in UK advertising.

"We'd be looking at about three hundred thousand of your English pounds."

[gulping - this was 1991] "Hmm, well, that would probably be just about OK. I'll let you know in the morning, your time." He then made a couple of calls, shut the office and they all got drunk.

Fast forward a few days, and the man from Burbank calls again. "You asshole!" screameth he down the horn. "I just got off the phone to some guy from some backyard outfit called British Rail! I asked them the same I asked you and guess what?!"

My dad winced, guessing that the man he spoke to had the business sense of, well, a BR traffic manager -- ie had given an 'at cost' quote. "I don't know, what?"

"THEY CAN DO IT FOR SIX FUCKING GRAND!!"

Length? Well the train was about five carriages.
(Good old boy just like yer grandma!, Sat 25 Feb 2012, 23:16, 16 replies)

And that is why British Rail are defunct.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 25 Feb 2012, 23:40, closed)

In small part,
yes. Pathological commitment by the Major government played its part too. Actually, exactly when it was privatised, big parts of BR (albeit not the part that guy worked for) were working pretty efficiently. Allowed to develop it could, maybe have been the envy of the world today. And a darn sight cheaper.
(Good old boy just like yer grandma!, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 0:03, closed)

My dad and grandad lost their jobs and entire careers when it was privatised.
Load of bollocks.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 0:08, closed)

Talking shite again.
Fuck off.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 26 Feb 2012, 0:19, closed)

I almost felt something for you then.
Almost.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 26 Feb 2012, 0:40, closed)

3 generations of unemployed fuckups
ftw
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 26 Feb 2012, 14:51, closed)

I like the name.
And the sentiment.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 27 Feb 2012, 0:07, closed)

Privatisation (n.): the act of turning a public service into a racket, abrogating all responsibility for said service while still collecting the same amount of tax, and charging a vastly inflated rate for an inferior service which only ever gets worse.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 0:10, closed)

The Oxford Corpus
that's behind all OED dictionaries is no doubt computerised by now -- oh that a disgruntled commuter/phone user/energy consumer working for the Oxford University Press decided to take it upon themselves to actually change the entry for what you've said! Oh and yes, agreed.
(Good old boy just like yer grandma!, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 0:42, closed)

Can you imagine a privatised fire service?
They'd make you hang on the phone for half an hour at £2 a minute before you got to speak to anyone human, then take three hours to get any firefighters out, who would initially go to the wrong town, and charge you a £50 call-out fee on top of that.

And if your house burned down because of their incompetence, they'd triple your fire insurance rates the next month.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 0:51, closed)

Er,
hang on...
(Good old boy just like yer grandma!, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 22:11, closed)

To the extent that private companies are efficient
it's because the inefficient ones go broke.

There's no point in government departments, universities etc trying to act like private companies, because in practice they can't go broke.

It just means they call you a 'client' and everything costs more.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 5:10, closed)

Greece
is the word.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 26 Feb 2012, 7:12, closed)

Inefficient train companies
coast by on public subsidies. Add in the bank bailouts, and you see just how ruthless captialism can be.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 9:39, closed)

Government departments
are a great advertisement for the private sector, and vice versa.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 5:16, closed)

I worked on that train
when it was at Manchester Piccadilly.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 26 Feb 2012, 17:02, closed)