Report! Report!
I used to work with a very pretty and curvaceous young woman. I mention her appearance not to bring out the sweaty-palmed amongst you, but because it is relevant to the tale.

Like many companies, it gradually changed from a funky dotcom startup into something more corporate. One day, one of the suits decided that we needed a weekly Management Report, summarising progress in our department of hairy IT geeks and snarling sysadmins. And it fell to the gorgeous hero of our tale to write this report, and submit it each week.

After several weeks, she started to wonder if anybody was actually reading it. So that week's report contained the now-legendary entry, somewhere near the back: "'Naked Wednesday' was a big success. I've been asked to organise another very soon."

Despite being leering, boorish letches to a man, not one of the management team commented on this. After that, she didn't put much effort into the report.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 17:26, 8 replies)

Oh, you big groomer of the sweaty-palmed, you!
I hoped you typed this with one hand.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 19:50, closed)

I'm typing this with my knob

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 21:25, closed)

bhyt6 5yb6gty b56y b6y6 fg6 yf6ybg6y bg v65 6bv 6bvnhtft66t

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 21:43, closed)

Surely it would just be
bb b b b bb b b bb b b
(TheColonel, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 8:45, closed)

It shows.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 9:13, closed)

Not at the moment, but when she used to sit directly opposite me, well...
Especially on the day she returned from her lunchbreak and began talking about the Brazilian waxing she'd just had. Eventually I had to point out that encouraging me to dwell on images of her smooth, hairless crotch was not helping me concentrate on work.

In fact it's not doing me any favours right now...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:10, closed)

Me
neither.
(username failed moderation, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:10, closed)

ningggg....

(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 14:54, closed)