Medical Idiocy

This is more personal idiocy than corporate idiocy but, as the doctor in question does work for a large health trust and it's the end of the week, I'm posting it

To set the scene. I write software for hospitals. Today, I got a complaint that they couldn't load some images up to the persons record. I checked and they were trying to upload bmp files. The system doesn't support bmp files.

An hour ago I sent this email.

I’m convinced that you medical people are trying to break my brain. 3 hours I’ve spent trying to figure out why that jpeg won’t upload. Then I figured it out. That’s not a jpg file – it’s too big. Examining file properties show me that it’s a bmp file that someone has renamed to a jpg extension.

*headdesk*

As per previous instructions, open the bitmap file in windows Paint. Save file as a jpg. You can’t just rename a file extension and expect it to magically convert itself. It’s the medical equivalent of taking a packet of drugs, scratching out asprin and then writing viagra on the packet instead. It doesn’t change the contents and it won’t give you a hard on.

Stuff it. I’m going for a drink.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 10:46, 30 replies)

Cheers

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 10:56, closed)

That did give
me a hardon though.
(username failed moderation, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 10:58, closed)

Where do they even get bitmaps from?

Presumably paint in the first place?
(skgorsky, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:03, closed)

Images
From an arthroscopic procedure. The default is bmp.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:04, closed)

excellent analogy
amazing they were able to figure out how to rename the file.

i spent 15 minutes this morning biting my tongue whilst waiting for a medico to change the tech support password after he'd dropped off his portable for a software upgrade. You know, enter old (tech dept's genericized) password. Enter new password. Enter new password again.

Didn't work? Try again, the new password and confirm password entries need to match.

Still not working? You ought use a new password you can actually type consistently, eh? Again?

Fifteen...effing...minutes. I could taste blood. I could have used a drink too.
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:03, closed)

I can see your point but I can see how someone can do that and expect it to work.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:04, closed)

The
thing that had me stumped is that if you do rename a bmp file to a jpg extension is that the bloody thing will still open - at least on Windows 7.

25+ years in IT and I'd never come across this one...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:08, closed)

Also
given the efficacy of placebos, maybe re-naming asprins as Viagra MIGHT give you a hard-on! Well, it might if you didn't know about it.

Just saying...
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:07, closed)

This sort of thing annoys me greatly
1) The users are idiots. Your system can't require them to know one esoteric file format from any other. I think it was pretty sharp thinking on the part of this registrar/doc/nurse/midwife to try changing the file name. I think I will endeavour to always try the same thing first in a similar situation from now on.

2) You must sanitize all input from the client. If you want to store jpegs, it's up to you to make sense of what you're being fed and do the necessary. (That's what ImageMagick and GD are for.) Why are you parsing the file name at all?

3) You've been wasting the valuable time of a medical professional.
(HiddenInMittens, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:15, closed)

but
I'd sent him clear instructions in how to convert the file.

Point 2 is something already in hand. No matter what the fuckers send me I'll be be converting it to jpegs and storing it.

Point 3. The doc in question is a resident, not a valuable medical professional. At this stage in his training he's little better than a trained monkey - and about as much use.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:23, closed)

Hang on...
...is that a trained monkey with a hard on?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:29, closed)

Residents
very early 20's so, yes, they'd have almost permanent hard-ons
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:34, closed)

Legless remember what happened last time you went gobbing off about your amazing talents online
cheers
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:30, closed)

No
do tell.....with links and everything. I'm curious.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:33, closed)

You'd told the council office that you were king of qotw and seemed somewhat surprised that your contract was terminated having whined that everyone was shit and you were the bestest it guy like ever in one of your made up tales
You then whinged all over b3ta about it looking for sympathy. I don't blame you for pretending to have forgotten about it, even for you legless it was pretty embarrassing.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:40, closed)

Yes
Rory. See above. And keep taking the pills.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:42, closed)

It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen on qotw
you should shoehorn it in to this weeks qotw
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:46, closed)

Perhaps he's on about when you were fired for blogging?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:48, closed)

Points to Piston

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:53, closed)

Who?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:54, closed)

rory, you are a cunt, even your mum thinks you are a cunt.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:59, closed)

Doesn't matter if you sent him a manual, he or the next resident in line will only loose it or forget how to do it next time round meaning more work for you / wasted time all round. Treat it as a lesson and fix your shit dude. Otherwise it'll all end up as a mountain of festering dangleberries for the next techy to deal with.
(HiddenInMittens, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:42, closed)

This ^

( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:25, closed)

I like this.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:30, closed)

Scarpe -
you don't even understand it, never mind like it.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:35, closed)

I deal with medical professionals myself.
The worst ones who think because they know a little bit about computers that they know more than me.

I know bits and bobs about the human body, how to set a broken leg etc. Doesn't make me a doctor.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:34, closed)

And
I bet you a zillion pounds that more than 90% of them use a Mac.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:39, closed)

I'm a flasher.
I use a mac.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:45, closed)

Zing!
first lol of the night.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:46, closed)

A fair few of them do, yes.
Although they tend to get quite miffed when we tell them we don't do iPads or their own IT equipment. Hospital directors can get quite sniffy when we tell them they can't hook up their own laptops to the network. Hehehe.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:47, closed)