The True Budget Inn, Hull
Sweet god alive - this story is legendary AND 100% True - I'm sure someone else has bound to have stayed here.

Stag Do to Hull about 4 or 5 years ago, Mini bus with about 25 Gerodies on, the hotel had been selected for it's cheapness - £15 a head if i remember correctly - how bad can it be? it'll have a bed - that'll do. how wrong we were...

Think that film 'Hostel' - that was the part of town it was in, so we turned up, It looks from the outside like a cross between a 1950's formica factory and an insane asylum. Red brick, cheap rotten windows, hand painted sign. Inside, it's like a big insane asylum once again, 1 long corridoor down the middle painted white, rooms off either side, it stinks and looks like a hospital. There's speakers up and down the corridoor blarring out scouse house - it's 2pm in the afternoon. We book in to be told "there's strippers lads at 6pm in the function room" - ohh it's looking up maybe!

The Rooms - Most rooms were like hospital rooms, with enough space for 2 beds in each, except there were 4 beds in each room - As you do, you go look around your mates bedrooms to compare your facilities;

(*) Room Number 1 - All beds pushed together, filthy bed sheets and empty bottles of baby oil everywhere.

(*) Room Number 2 - All bed clothes on the floor covered in sick, buckets next to 2 of the beds - full of sick. It stinks of piss.

(*) Room Number 3 - Someone had shit the bed then wiped there arse on 1 of the bed sheets. The room stunk of piss

(*) Room Number 4 - Beds together again, sheets covered in blood. Pissy smell again.

and so it went on... "We haven't cleaned yet" we were told. no shit. We all decide at that point we're 1) going to pull some local and stay at hers 2) we're going to stay up all night and not go near the beds.

The Function Room 6pm - Turns out it's the reception/bar/breakfast room/kitchen all in 1. The stripper was beyond belief. Nasty and rubbish. After a short while of pleasuring herself with an old and well used vibrator, she called the stag over and promptly shoved it in HIS gob - 50% of the audience dry heaved at that point. I Think most of us left half way through the show. So we head out into Hull for the main show.

Most of us return between 3 and 4am to find the music STILL being pumped thru the speakers so we head back to the breakfast area and decide to play cards for the next 5 hours till it's home time, powered by coke, speed and a few pills. The most horrific thing was around 8am, a couple came down for their breakfast, complete with 1 year old in high chair, sit on the table next to us and start eating a full english?!?!?!? THEY STAYED HERE?!?! What must have they thought coming down to breakfast to sit next to a table full of pilled up idiots playing cards, smoking and swearing?!?! i felt so sorry for them - but why did they stay? it's horrific? ON HOLIDAY?

the mini bus left around 8:30. I've never felt so dirty.
(TheManofScience, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 9:40, 4 replies)

Shit
You win
(frankspencer, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 11:10, closed)

I can't believe...
...anyone goes to Hull for a stag do. Or anything else... ever!
(keeferreefer, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 14:32, closed)

I went to Hull for an education...
But - luckily - not this kind...
*click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 15:06, closed)

When I was looking for a house to buy...
...my online searches were peppered with two-bedroom terraced houses in Hull going for £30,000, whilst anything anywhere else in this area of the country will set you back at least £70,000.

Tells me all I need to know about Hull.
(Musuko, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 13:56, closed)