Worst. Hotel. Ever.
To set the scene I was once on a road trip through the States. I had just left Vegas and was on my way to San Fran which is a bit of an epic journey, especially after those late nights in Vegas.

It was getting late and thought I'd best pull over to stop myself falling asleep at the wheel. I could see a motel up ahead and when I got there the lass on the desk showed me to a room. My suspicions were first alerted when I noticed that there was no electric power here and it was lit with candles. There was nowhere else for miles though so thought I had better just make the most of it.

On finding my room it was pretty average. Nothing to write home about but there was a telephone in there where I could ask for room service. I ordered some food and a dry white but the guy said they didn't have any alcohol at all! So much for Vegas! He also said the kitchen was closed but I could join him and his wife for dinner which was pretty nice of him.

Now this is where it all got a bit mental. The dinner was pretty fancy. Laid on with silver service and the main feature being a large platter covered with one of those silver domes that's lifted off at the last minute. As expected it had a pig with an apple stuffed in its mouth underneath it but Christ! It was alive! The owner and his wife set about it with their knives, stabbing it over and over again but the thing just wouldn't die. It just writhed around spouting blood everywhere.

The last thing I remember was running for the door. The night watchman told me I couldnt leave but I socked him one accross the jaw and got out of there sharpish. Anyway, Im sure you'll agree. Pretty crazy.

Cheers
Don
(vibrating tuna, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 17:02, 6 replies)

I don't suppose a pop star happened to be staying there at all?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 19 Jan 2008, 17:10, closed)

Took me until...
You started to stab the pig.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 20:27, closed)

That's excellent
I'm a big fan
( its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 18:33, closed)

god damn it
i was going to make this pun...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 19:25, closed)

So much better than
Just saying "stayed at Hotel California. Tried to check out, wasn't allowed to leave".

Have a click - would give more, but after spending £156 on two tickets to see the damn band, I can't afford anything else.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Sun 20 Jan 2008, 21:03, closed)

Woot for Teh Eagles
Saw them when they played Manchester :-D
Hang on to those tickets, they're worth every penny.
(vibrating tuna, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 10:02, closed)