hell in paradise
following a family tragedy just before christmas 2005, we booked a last minute trip to barbados to get away from everything at home. it still comes with you, of course it does, but being away from how christmas should be and the horror that it will never, ever be like that again helps to freeze things for a week.

the first class virgin seats also helped, as did the champagne and the ridiculous beauty of barbados - white sand, sweeping palm trees, warm turquoise water and frozen turquoise cocktails.

however. if you book a christmas holiday at the last minute, you do not get the best accommodation. although i am admittedly a 5 star snob, the hotel itself was only just ok by anyone's standards - it alleged 3 stars, but whilst the rooms were very big and comfortable, the aircon always leaked or rattled; they "forgot" to change the towels; the food was only adequate; the pool was a cesspit (mind you, who wants a pool with the caribbean lapping saltily on the doorstep?). after one night there, we realised quickly that our wing of the hotel was available because it was right. over. the. bar. but it finished by 2am each night so it could have been worse.

the real problem was the staff. some of them were lovely, but the managers were rude, ignorant and arrogant. one day i took some US dollars out of the safe as i was going diamond shopping in the cheap diamond hotspot of bridgetown with my christmas money. as i was packing, my brother shouted about something and i popped into his room. 2 minutes later i went back into mine, got my bag, got the bus, chose my bracelet...

... no dollars. gone. vanished. and my english emergency cash had gone as well.

i was fuming. it had to be staff with a key as the rooms locked themselves behind you. so when we got back to the hotel, i kicked up an almighty fuss with the manager. what happened next was frankly unbelievable. she sighed, rolled her eyes, and sashayed her enormous parcel-shelf like arse up the stairs to my room. she called in 2 cleaners and a security guard, and the 4 of them strip searched the room. they pulled all my clothes out of the suitcase and went through the pockets; they tipped my bag upside down; they stripped the bed. they made me open the safe. then the manager physically got hold of me and searched the pockets of my shorts and inside my socks!!!!!!

finally she looked at me and said accusingly, "why you leave de dollar out of de safe?"

"because i thought," i said icily, "that i could leave possessions in my own room. and it was for all of about 1minute."

she shrugged and the 4 of them walked out. she called back over her shoulder, "you call de police if you wanna."

i did better than that. i made enquiries and quickly found out that the 5 other families who had booked with virgin had been moved for the same thing but we hadn't been warned or moved. the compensation cheque from the bearded one arrived shortly after my telephone call once we got back home...

but still, it was a pretty grim experience...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 11:39, 4 replies)

To be honest, I have never used a hotel safe
I know people who have had money & passports stolen from hotel safes.

I never take valuables on holiday. Credit cards, cash & passports get taken with me.

(But it does sound like you got right royally dicked over by the theiving staff - i'm glad you got compensation)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 12:00, closed)

St Lucia
An otherwise fine two week stay in a hotel in St Lucia was marred by two things:

1) Knackered air conditioning, which was never fixed despite daily requests. Requests to move into a room work working a/c were denied. In retrospect, I should have demanded to sleep in the managers office as the air con there was functioning perfectly.

2) Petty thievery. You turn your back on a t shirt or sun hat for a second and some caribbean pikey has swiped it.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 21 Jan 2008, 12:50, closed)

Barbados - service with a moan
Unfortunately, service like this seems to be pretty much the Barbados way. It ranges from complete indifference to utter rude-ness. I've been there quite a lot and it has always been the same way there. Try St Lucia, much more friendly and the island is beautiful.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:44, closed)

Lucky me!
Having visited both of the idyllic paradises (paradii?) mentioned above, I must admit that the only thing that caused me any annoyance were the British and American tourists.

Nassau (Bahamas) is quite possibly even more stunning than those above, but is deeply marred by the 'Americans go Carribean' contingent.

Before I'm lynched by our 'merkin friends, I'd like to add that my best ever holiday was in the 'states. It seems that all of the nice and normal stay put and the fat arseholes travel the world. A conspiracy??
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 15:11, closed)