Granny Jackboots
Well, she may be gone now, but she'll never be forgotten... She earned the nickname for a reason.

Every time there was soemthing like the olympics on and there was a black British athlete (say, Lindford christie for example), she'd peer up close at the TV, and say "Well! He's not British". She abhored comedy of any kind except Jim Davidson....

This wasn't all however... She would take umbridge, and bear a grudge for all eternity. Once, when I was still in the pram, she was staying with my parents and one evening offered to do the washing up. They politely said thank you but it's OK, we've got a machine. Fair enough, off she goes for a bit. Later in, she decides the time is right to be outraged by this refusal, storms into the kitchen with a bowlful of water and chucks it over me, strapped into the pushchair where I can't escape. Apparently she meant to get my dad.

Also, when she was very young, her father came back from a Naval voyage with two teddies, a slightly bigger one for her older sister. She never let her sister forget this until her dying day. Even when Alzheimers had ravaged her brain she remembered getting the smaller teddy and was still incredibly bitter about it.

When my great grandmother died, she left her wedding ring to my mum in her will. Granny Jackboots however decided that my mum shouldn't be allowed such precious things, and snuck into her room one day and stole it - and never gave it back.

This is the clincher though - When my mum announced she was pregnant with my eldest sibling, the response was: "Oh, and when are you going to get rid of it then?" Followed by constantly offering the services of an abortion clinic.

So, RIP Granny Jackboots, no-one cried at your funeral.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 10 Jul 2007, 14:01, Reply)