I've stopped masturbating into socks
and now just catch it in my hand before washing it off under the tap.
Therefore saving much needed money on;
1-new socks
2-washing powder
Hopefully i'll get a girlfriend soon and she can become my new cumbucket, resulting in pregnancy and then benefits win!

Take THAT Credit Crunch!
( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Sun 25 Jan 2009, 2:04, 6 replies)

Only by indiscriminate impregnation
will the financial disater be averted!
(Smaug rocked out with his cock out on:, Sun 25 Jan 2009, 11:06, closed)

Masturbation: You're doing it wrong.
Fling it at the cat instead.
(DeactivateThisDisaster No., Sun 25 Jan 2009, 14:35, closed)

girlfriends are expensive
get a goat.
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Sun 25 Jan 2009, 22:52, closed)

Do yourself a favour if you do get a girlfriend.
Don't let her find your old wank socks, even at the bottom of your washing basket. It's fucking rank.

/Personal experience
( Bats, Mon 26 Jan 2009, 9:42, closed)

It's a trap
Stick to socks. Once little people start crawling out of your lady's vagina your life is basically over.
(MagicMoose, Mon 26 Jan 2009, 13:10, closed)

Spanging it in to your hand gives you the chance to impersonate Spiderman
You can fling your 'web' at targets. Tin cans, crayon drawn enemies on the bathroom tiles or the cat.

Once you get a lady you can exclaim 'My Spider sense is tingling!' before webbing her in the chops.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Mon 26 Jan 2009, 19:07, closed)