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This is a question Creepy!

Smash Monkey asks: "what's the creepiest thing you've seen, heard or felt? What has sent shivers running up your spine and skidmarks running up your undercrackers? Tell us, we'll make it all better"

(, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 13:57)
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Sugared Almonds
My Nan is about 4'10 of Norfolk prejudice and I don't think she still actually 'believes in black people'.

It came as a bit of a surprise then that she did have quite an 'open-mind' for a bigot. She considered being psychic a pretty ordinary thing rather than a 'gift' and would often tell my Mum and I that we too had the ability if we'd just believe. Kind of like a slightly greener Yoda with 44GGG tits.

My siblings and I would often be forced to listen to stories such as how she knew when her father had died, as he 'visited' her in the middle of the night and told her goodbye, when he lay croaking 50 miles away.

The thing that always creeped us out the most though, was that if she left a room with unguarded biscuits/sweets, whenever she came back she would always know who had stolen what behind her back....
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 9:20, 15 replies)
Which part of this is surprising or creepy?
Isn't everybody from Norfolk an in-bred dwarf with a morbid fear of outsiders and an ignorant belief in the supernatural? It's a natural consequence of the fact that Norfolk still exists in the dark ages. It's Brigadoon without the charm or picturesque scenery.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 9:54, closed)
Yeah but
44GGG???!!!! That makes up for all of it.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 9:57, closed)
So...
You're placing a massive stereotype on Norfolk, for placing massive stereotypes?

Good one!
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 9:58, closed)
Sorry.
I forgot to mention their inate inability and unwillingness to grasp that dirty foreign concept of "humour".
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 11:30, closed)
So your story is...
You're from Norfolk?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 11:31, closed)
Sorry.
I also forgot to mention that they haven't yet evolved self awareness to the same extent as the other great apes and should arguably be categorised amongst the more primitive primates.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 11:34, closed)
Self awareness.
Isn't really one of your strong points.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 11:59, closed)
What are you blathering on about?
Your grandmother is both a bigot and a credulous moron. Being a credulous moron is not the same as having an open mind. There is nothing unexpected about being both a bigot and a credulous moron. Which part of this is your pre-simian norfolk brain having trouble with?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:13, closed)
I think
I made the same point about her lack of brain cells. Yep, definitely did when I mentioned her being a bigot in the first place.

However, your determination to keep knocking someone based upon where they are from isn't doing you any favours. Smacks a bit of, well, hypocrisy.

You look a bit like a cunt calling other people pussies. To simplify it for you.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:20, closed)
Norfolking Clue
What? are we NOT allowed to mock people based on where they are from now? that's just stupid, how are we supposed to laugh at people that are different from us?

Bunch of Northern Inbreds.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:28, closed)
wtfayboa?
You made precisely the opposite point. You claimed her credulity demonstrated an open mind rather than a retarded one.

I have to say though, I never credited you Norfolk untermensch with high enough brain function to take offence at something to the point where you'd start whimpering about it. I'll have to modify my opinion of you. Sideways rather than upwards, admittedly.
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 12:45, closed)
Or
I claimed her lack of a grasp on reality could give rise to bigoted views yet still seemingly afford her to spout shit when it suited her.

Sideways, upwards, it matters little. Long as you are happy eh?
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:00, closed)
Love you.
xxx
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 15:18, closed)
quite creepy
in the 'terrible' use of quote 'marks'
(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 14:38, closed)
On the 'plus' side. They 'allow' him to 'backtrack' on what 'he' 'actually' 'meant'.

(, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 15:19, closed)

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