Would you like sugar with that?
Now I know some of you will find my lack of morals creepy, and others will simply put this tale into the category of utter fantasy because their Mrs is a fat frigid monsterpig and since it hasn't happened to them, it simply can't happen to anyone else. However, I'm a bit of an alleycat, I enjoy a liberated sex life, thanks to this here Interweb thang, and good old Swingers clubs.

Well, a couple of years ago, I met a really nice couple in a club (Ceasars in Balsall Common, IIRC, now sadly demolished), round about my own age (late 30s-early 40s) and it was obvious the wife found me agreeable. Now this wasn't one of those occasions where I was gagging to ball ANYTHING, I was enjoying their company so was happy not to rush things, to sit and have a drink and chat, like any normal person would do, and see how things panned out. I found the couple to be witty and down-to-earth, ordinary folk, no glaringly obvious character defects, just another long-married couple looking to spice up their sex life with a bit of something extra, and who had actually taken the step to get out and put it into reality.

They'd never done anything like this before, so I refrained from flopping my cock out, we exchanged numbers and I left it up to them to call if they fancied taking it further, not sure whether they'd make that last little jump into the world of Swinging.

To my surprise, and delight, I began to get texts to arrange a meet, and finally settled on going to their house the following weekend when they had packed their sons, who were aged around 10 and 12, off to Grandma's house for the night. They lived in an up-market part of a nearby town, I was really looking forward to this meet, they were my kind of people, I felt like I'd known them years.

We had a few drinks, and progressed on to the bedroom, blah blah, we were having a great time. Then, in one fell swoop, things began to fall apart.
Now in my time I've veered away from licking stinking maws that were once minges, I've focussed on other things than a woman's third nipple, I can grit my teeth and carry on regardless and not let it spoil anyone's enjoyment of the evening by causing a fuss. However, this occasion was beyond anything I've faced before or since:

The woman squirted my face with tit milk.

Jesus, I can feel my tea rising just typing it, I was stunned. "Open your mouth" she said.
"It's great" her hubby chimed in.
NO. FUCKING. WAY. My raging boner subsided into its normal miniscule acorn size. And then inverted for good measure. My night was finished there and then, several beers over the limit to drive home. What a disaster.

The thing is, if she'd have been nursing, I could live with that, even though I've no desire to taste her milk, that's between her and her baby. Nothing wrong with tit milk, obviously, it's natural.

However, this woman had had her last baby 10 years previously.

We did later discuss things (me with head in my hands), and she had no idea why she'd started expressing milk after so long, she wasn't one of those women who still had her kids clamped to her tit when they were at Middle School, but her hubby loved it, so she had encouraged it (I don't know how, I feel queasy trying to recall the detail).

One of their little games was for her to squirt him from across the room, whilst he tried to catch it in his mouth - anyone remember that dog on "That's Life!" that used to catch the soda syphon blast? Brrrrr, horrible!

Happily, we squared things up later on, she agreed not to squirt me with tit milk, and all was well, I still visit them from time to time. They both still think it was hilarious looking back, but I think my cock has never quite got as hard for her as it had been before the first squirt, regardless of how much fun we're having.

Oh, and I NEVER let them make me a cup of tea, just in case.
(Rsoles, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 21:39, 2 replies)

...
... bitty?
( zulu eh?, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 21:44, closed)

I really proper lolled

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 22:51, closed)