Making an arse of yourself
I was in a long term relationship. My long term relationships don't tend to be great as I get bored and the sex stops and then I feel bad and guilty and evil. Anyway, I was in bed with him one night, we felt obliged to make an effort at the whole shagging thing, and I decided that I would be generous and giving, and would offer him a little extra excitement to see if we could inject any kind of interest into our sex life.

"Y'know," I whispered with all the sauciness I could muster as he ran his hands over my skin, "we could do something a little different. F'rinstance... there's always... my ass."

He stopped. He looked at me. "No thank you," he said.

Trust me, the humiliation of hearing that was far, far greater than the humiliation of typing it up for this QOTW. Do not offer anal as a refusal often offends.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:33, 14 replies)

Same thing happened with Mrs Monkeysex
I just don't like the poopy!

Not that our sex will ever be boring.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:35, closed)

that's not
what al said.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:36, closed)

Al's poopy is different
It tastes like blancmange.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:37, closed)

Like
magic blancmange made from sex foxes.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:54, closed)

He was polite about it, at least.

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:44, closed)

Its the
use of thank you that makes it all the more humiliating.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:55, closed)

Really?!
Foolish mortal to refuse such an offer!
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:57, closed)

That
is exactly what I thought.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:00, closed)

Don't worry
I'm sure plenty of others have "taken her up" on her offer.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:22, closed)

A witty retort to ease your humilitation would have been......
Well your father doesn't seem to have a problem with it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:36, closed)

*spluffs*
What a fecking idiot!

I'd never turn it down!

(Especially not off someone as lovely as yourself)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:49, closed)

LIAR!
You turned me down :0(
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:55, closed)

Well...
only at first!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 9:48, closed)

Hmph
he was a moron.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 21:30, closed)