university breast and minge trauma!
wavy lines

time: december 1996
venue: then boyfriend oswald's student house
occasion: PARTY

i was wearing a very ill-advised boobtube that oswald had bought for me, which made me look like an overstuffed cottage loaf balanced on a pair of toothpicks, and no bra. this would never happen now, but back in 1996 there was a leetle bit less gravity involved!

so we'd all been drinking for quite a while, when one of my friends rang from the bus stop, saying she was lost. i borrowed the bloke's bomber jacket, ran out, retrieved her, wandered back. then spent the next couple of drinks in the garden, so the bomber jacket stayed on.

a bit later on, i went into the kitchen to get a drink. one of oswald's housemates was in there by herself. she was a really sweet girl, but her father was some sort of vicar, she was very very shy, and she found the whole student thing a bit daunting. i chatted to her for a bit, and then she said, "i saw you come in earlier, oswald bought you that top, didn't he?"

"nice, isn't it?" i said, unzipping the jacket with a flourish to show her. she went very quiet, and just stared at her drink. eventually it filtered through to my drunken brain that she wasn't exactly rushing to praise how nice i looked. i glanced down and, to my horror, the top had fallen down inside the bomber jacket at some point, and i had basically just flashed her.

if it had been one of my friends, they'd have pissed themselves at me, but this poor innocent girl looked as if i'd shot her...


more wavy lines

i love this story, if i can say it without sounding like a lesbian pervert, i wish i'd been there!!

when my friend sam was at uni, she spent the entire 4 year course trying to hook this guy in her class. eventually, after 4 years, she managed to pull him in the pub, and brought him home to her lair.

all her housemates were out, they were sitting alone in the lounge, having a civilised glass of wine, the lights were low, the candles were flickering, he had sat next to her on the same sofa, all the signs were very promising indeed.

then, just as she was wondering who would make the first move, the door flew open and her housemate abby ran in, drunk as a skunk, and wearing only a dressing gown.

"see my nunny! SEE MY NUNNNNNNY!!!!" she howled, lifting her dressing gown and flashing her minge at them both, before running up the stairs.

sam and the bloke just sat and stared at the space where abby had been for about 5 minutes with their mouths open. sam hadn't been expecting that. well, who would?

and after that, the mood well and truly shattered, he let himself out and went home.

as he later on turned out to be gay, however, there was no loss in the long term!


( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:30, 8 replies)

Can I
buy you a boobtube?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:42, closed)

No, but
I'll take the money and use it for a boobjob these days, ta!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:47, closed)

was he gay
before he got a faceful of drunken minge?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:58, closed)

i never thought to ask
the story of how he told sam he was gay is hilarious though. we need a qotw on coming out or disastrous dates or something for that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:05, closed)

coming out
would be a great one!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:28, closed)

Oswald?
I know you mix with the upper eschelons (sp?) of society but.....Oswald.
( girlinthehole, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:58, closed)

names have been changed
to protect the twattish.

but it was almost as bad as oswald. almost!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:05, closed)

Nunny
Thats a new one on me

*adds to sweary index*
(kitescreech still here, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:21, closed)