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This is a question Cringe!

Chickenlady winces, "I told a Hugh Grant/Divine Brown joke to my dad, pretending that Ms Brown was chewing gum so she'd be more American. Instead I just appeared to be still giving the blow-job. Even as I'm writing this I'm cringing inside."

Tell us your cringeworthy stories of embarrassment. Go on, you're amongst friends here...

(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 18:58)
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More effective than a cold shower...

All aboard the ‘wavy lines express’…

~~~~~~~~~~~~’this happened fucking ages ago’ wavy lines~~~~~~~~

When I was sixteen I was going out with an angel. She possessed a perfectly balanced combination of being smart, beautiful, and sexy as hell. She was the girl in the neighbourhood that every girl wanted to be like, and every boy wanted to be with…

…and she was mine.

Occasionally, she would let me have a tinkle on her organ…it was one of those keyboards with a built in drum machine and I loved to play it. We used to spend every evening round her parents house. Just innocently kissing, snuggling, and talking for hours about planning a future together. Life was good.

So it was nothing unusual when we found ourselves in the same situation one night. We were both lying on her bed, chatting about how my band would ‘make it big’ one day…

And then she kissed me. Nothing strange about that, but this time it seemed…well…different…more spontaneous and urgent somehow. Being on a permanent state of ‘Horny Alert’, I didn’t need too much prompting to respond in kind.

She then began to run her hands through my hair and then gently but roughly pulled my head back…

‘Oh, so it’s going to one of ‘those’ snuggles is it?...Pooflake, you lucky devil’ I said to myself.

(If they hadn’t been previously and more importantly occupied, I would have rubbed my hands together with fiendish adolescent glee.)

She began to pull her blouse open...and in no time my heart was pounding…as it needed to be, just to sustain the amount of blood flow rushing to my massively engorged teenage love truncheon.

Sensing the sheer passion and momentum building as our lips remained pressed together, I slid my right hand down the back of her jeans, savouring the feel of delicate lace on her arse cheeks. I then moved back, before gently peeling her panties down just enough so I could contact the wonderful flesh itself. Whilst stroking, massaging and cupping her spectacular breasts with my left hand, she groaned to announce her approval and pushed her darting tongue a little bit further and harder into my mouth.

We were now entwined together, exchanging enthusiastic and encouraging moans as waves of pleasure began to sweep over us both…my right hand began probing ever lower and deeper, before engaging the previously-forbidden ‘sweet-spot’ that began to responded so sensitively to my every touch, and soon I was aching to take it further…

I loved her…I respected her…but this was raw passion. Instinct was taking over. I desperately wanted to have her.

As I pushed my fingers inside her, she bucked her hips and began to squirm as I tenderly rubbed against her soft mound and inserted my grateful fingers evermore deeply into her. She then surprised me by taking hold of my hand and gently inserting one of my fingers into her succulent arse, breathing heavier as she writhed and was obviously enjoying every second of the experience as we began to push our boundaries ever further…

She then ran her nails down my back, before moving round to fumble at the button fly on my jeans. I could feel her trying to keep in control but before long she was tugging frantically on my belt and she managed to pop open the buttons on my fly with one hand.

I gasped as she reached in and took hold of my throbbing phallus, before firmly and determinedly starting to rub up and down the bulging shaft…all the time I was laying on top of her and our mouths were locked together in an ecstatic embrace.

We were two teenagers standing at the precipice between love and lust, exploring each other’s bodies with youthful foolhardiness, but at this precise moment we were finally willing to cast off the shackles of childhood and cross the threshold into the one true, perfect, beautiful shared intimacy.

Then she breathily whispered to me…”I love you…and I want you….to fuck me”

“mmm” I reply, trying hard not to say the wrong thing, whilst relishing each word that I had been so aching to hear…my whole life thus far had existed for this precise moment.

I begin to slide my jeans down and she pulls on her own…just enough to expose the exquisite view of the heaven that awaited me…

Her breasts were now moving rapidly in time to her sighs, we were mere seconds away from securing our love forever, and I wanted it to be right, to take care, to be gentle, yet firm, and ensure that this was no rushed, fumbling affair. I was to be courteous to her needs and put her first. The love we were about to make was going to be real love…

Pushing my hips a little closer towards her I began to feel the beginning of her delicious wetness on the very tip of my shaft. I realised that this.was.it…the point of no return…

In a final act of chivalry, I decided to check with her once and for all that she was ready before we continued, that we were both prepared to indulge in the life changing, irreversible decision of losing our virginity. Right there. Right then. That way.

Panting with anticipation…I gently ask: ”Are you ok…?”

“No, she isn’t” comes a voice from behind me.

I crank my neck around to see her Mum...stood there holding two cups of tea and with a face like smashed granite. She then places the cups down on my girlfriend’s dresser and leaves the room, closing the door behind her without another word.

“Ohfuckinghellfuckinghellfuckinghell!” my girlfriend and I mouth to each other, with eyes wide, jaws agape, and underwear round our knees.

In my blind panic, I try to assess the situation: “How long do you think she was there?” I ask my girlfriend…

Then a voice booms from just outside the bedroom door: “Long enough” said her mum.

My girlfriend and I started spending evenings at my house for a while after that.

So now you all know why the ‘cup of tea by the side of the bed’ joke doesn’t make me laugh quite so much as it should.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 12:04, 10 replies)
Have a coffee instead.... and a hob-nob.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 12:09, closed)
you should have asked the mother if she'd like to join in.

It's her house after all, and it's only polite.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 12:15, closed)
EEuuuwww that's disgusting!...

Her sister on the other hand...mmmmmmm

...but that's another story.

and before you ask...yes, the story ends with me looking like a total knob-cheese. What else would you expect?

Hoenstly, my life is just like something out of Benny Hill - probably right down to the 'dying alone in a flat and not being discovered for 3 weeks' bit

(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:49, closed)
I have a similar story
but your words are better than mind ever could have been :)
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 12:28, closed)
massively engorged teenage love truncheon.
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:32, closed)
of podged her anyway!!

Youd already been caught
(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 17:11, closed)
Perhaps I shouldn't leave my teenage daughter and her first true love boyfriend alone upstairs anymore.

(, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:09, closed)
I'm certainly not leaving my girls alone with boys when they get older.
I remember exactly what kind of naughty sexiness I got up to when I was that age. Just the though of my innocent little darlings participating in those kinds of activities before they are 30 gives me the big fear.
(, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 3:49, closed)
Go make sure the first love isn't Poof lake in disguise!
(, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:50, closed)
Fucking hell
this one deserves to be a winner. Excruciating.
(, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 19:48, closed)

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