Dead Dog
Disclaimer: A friend told me this story. It's therefore a friend-of-a-friend story, and so if it's actually an urban legend or shaggy dog story you've heard umpteen times before, I apologise profusely. I just found it very amusing, if a little too good to be true, so I hope this did actually happen.

This guy's friend was looking after her neighbours' dog whilst they were on holiday. Unfortunately, whilst the neighbours were still on holiday, the dog snuffed it. So, she did the decent thing and broke the news over the telephone:
"Oh dear. Well, thank you for letting us know."
"It's the least I can do. Sorry to put a damper on your holiday."
"...would you mind doing us one more favour? We...well, we don't want the kids to see the body, they're only young. Do you think you could...dispose of the body?"

Well, what can you say to a request like that? Nobly, she agreed, and it was only after she put the phone down that the question occurred to her - what the hell do you do with a dead dog?

I don't know why it didn't occur to her to simply bury it in the neighbours' garden, but she resolved the best thing to do was take it to a vet. So - how the hell do you transport a dead dog?

In the end, she borrowed one of their heavy-duty Samsonite briefcases, folded doggy into that and got on the tube, praying that the infernal heat of the Bakerloo Line wouldn't encourage doggy to decompose and smell funny.

Now a dog is quite heavy. Add the weight of a dead dog* to that of a Samsonite briefcase and you've got a substantial load to carry. A gentleman noticed her struggling with the case on the escalators on the way out of the tube station.

"Can I help you with that?"
"Oh...thank you...how kind"Oh god he's carrying a dead dog up the escalator for me
But all was well until they get to the top of the escalators. He even carried it through the ticket barriers for her. Then he dropped the bombshell:
"Quite heavy this, isn't it? What have you got in here?"
The festering corpse of my neighbours' dog? The best thing she could think of was:
"It's...um...computer parts."

Suddenly the "gentleman's" demeanour changed. He looked at her, looked at the Samsonite full of "Computer Parts" in his hand...and legged it with the briefcase.

So, cringe followed by a nice spoonful of karma. As I say, if this one isn't true then I'm sorry, but it made me laugh.

*_{Or a live one if you want to experiment...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:56, 12 replies)

I'm pretty sure this is
An urban legend, but I'll let you off, due to your disclaimer.
( Cawl, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:59, closed)

That's a very old urban legend
I think I first read it in 1997, when my dad printed it out from a fax of funny stories he got at work.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:01, closed)

He printed it out from a fax?

( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 12:03, closed)

He must have been very technically gifted to achieve just a feat

( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 13:27, closed)

Haha
I hope this is true. It's amusing either way though :D
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:01, closed)

Oh well.
I admit it was a bit hard to believe, so I'm not overly surprised.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:52, closed)

Hahahaha
PLEASE let that be true
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 14:08, closed)

^ Turns out it is no more than a shaggy dog story
Could be true, but it evidently didn't happen to my friend's friend.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 14:13, closed)

Click!!
Fantastic! I SOOOOO hope that it is true!
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 15:31, closed)

It's an urban legend
but it's also true. A friend had her dead cat rolled in his blankie in a box, taking it to the vet for a necropsy. Some clown ripped it out of her hands on the subway and jumped off just as the train stopped.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 18:14, closed)

Or
the guy who didn't have a proper working toilet in his attic apartment in Amsterdam so each day he artfully wrapped his logs in newspaper and left it on the carrier of his bicycle when he parked up at work. He never had to take the disposal process any farther as it seemed to depart each day all on its own.
(Benzyl, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 23:14, closed)