Inappropriate crushesAs a teenager I was obsessed by my piano teacher - I hated playing the piano, but carried on because she was so lovely. OK, it was because she used to wear very plunging necklines.
I even stopped practicing because the worse I was, the more she'd sit at the piano to show me how to play a piece and I could stand behind her and look down her top.
Aaaaargh. Confess your own crushes so I don't look like a breast-obssessed stalker.
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 10:42)
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As it happens......last Friday, a nubile student girlie told me I looked like Hugh Fearley-Whittingstall. Her mate disagreed, insisting I was more like James May. Unfortunately, I've been cultivating the Kurt Cobain look for the last couple of years (pre-shotgun facelift, of course). So, if any of you who have professed undying lust for HF-W or JM look like any of the following (no noticeable pattern - some appropriate, some inappropriate, some "WTF was I thinking?"), I'm available for mutually-satisfying meaningful overnight relationships, for a nominal charge:
Tracey Emin
Lorraine Kelly
Kelly Osbourne
Tara Palmer Tomkinson
The kinky dog woman (Victoria Wossername)
Candice and Maria from Corrie (but only as a group package)
Catherine Oxenberg
Francine Smith from American Dad
Nina Birch
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 17:24, Reply)
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