b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Inappropriate crushes » Page 16 | Search
This is a question Inappropriate crushes

As a teenager I was obsessed by my piano teacher - I hated playing the piano, but carried on because she was so lovely. OK, it was because she used to wear very plunging necklines.

I even stopped practicing because the worse I was, the more she'd sit at the piano to show me how to play a piece and I could stand behind her and look down her top.

Aaaaargh. Confess your own crushes so I don't look like a breast-obssessed stalker.

(, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 10:42)
Pages: Latest, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, ... 1

This question is now closed.

Oh yes..
Jordan - AKA Katie Price. Why this becomes inappropriate is that I absolutely and totally loathe everything she stands for, her attitude, vacuousness, and disgusting, shit-streaked brand of 'celebrity'. I hate everything she does, every nauseating word she utters and every repulsive move she makes in her slimey career.

That being said, I'd absolutely love to fuck her.

How it is that I can loathe someone, yet still want to fuck them, is both inappropriate and a mystery to me.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 15:09, Reply)
Diana Rigg
Not at all inappropriate really (if anyone has even seen the avengers for more than 10 seconds you'll no why) except I saw her on extras last week.
Put it this way, I forgot how old that show was (by that show i mean the avengers).
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 14:53, Reply)
Just a bunch of Pixels?
I sit here, reading this, and can’t help but wonder why no-one has mentioned the delectable Chun-Li of Streetfighter fame. Especially when she did that upside-down-spinny-kick-thing. You could see her pants.

Does this make me weird?

Others include Kim Possible, Lois Griffin and Betty Rubble. Although you know you would.

I’m slightly worried about the fact that none of these are real…
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 14:38, Reply)
Lisa Geoghan who played Polly in the Bill. Always had a thing for her which started when I first saw her in "Desmonds"

No idea why.

Am I depraved for having so many random crushes?
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 14:12, Reply)
House programs
Naomi Cleaver - Because she's so very strict :-)

Sarah Beeny - You know you would, I would. In a heartbeat.

Melissa Joan Hart. Just in case I've not mentioned her in every one of my posts yet :-)
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 14:10, Reply)
A most inappropriate butt crush
I’ve long had a crush on Scott Neal’s butt. I first saw it in “Beautiful Thing”. Then, lo and behold, on his very first episode of “The Bill”, it was smiling at me again!
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 14:09, Reply)
Female Interior Designers
Well there is this one that works only round the corner from me, that I had to work with on a few projects recently. Man she does something too me deep inside something that is very very wrong… I think she likes me too but I couldn’t do or say anything about thing as I just fall apart every time I see her, well that and I don’t think my wife would be too happy either..
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 14:03, Reply)
Maxine Carr. And you know she'd be loyal.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 13:34, Reply)
Crushee, not crusher
I have been the target of a number of crushes by female teenage students. One of them got my phone number and left messages on my answerphone. Another hung around outside my flat and tried to engage me in conversation as I walked the 30 mins to work. Another bombarded me with ten-page letters proclaiming her love. Still another accosted me at work in front of my fiancee (cue terrible arguments later).

The problem was that they were all deeply unattractive, intense and excessively intelligent girls - all medical students. One of them was later institutionalised, while the ten-page girl still writes e-mails weekly.

Though I am 6'2" and with broad shoulders, I am also balding, pot-bellied and socially inept. How much more inappropriate could their crushes have been?
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 13:32, Reply)
Half crush, half bizarre runic stalking
My friend's dad teaches Ancient Icelandic Law or something similar.

Years ago one of his students developed a huge crush on him and started sending him creepy, stalker-like love letters written in Icelandic runes. He took them to the police, but they couldn't understand them and just thought they were hilariously nerdy.

Eventually, they discovered she had been hiding in the bushes outside his house, and he had to move to a new house in the dead of night.

Finally, she was arrested for something else and ended up in a mental institution.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 12:22, Reply)
Sydney Bristow
Not Jennifer Garner, no, Sydney Bristow.

Not reall sure if it's inappropriate, but I bet Jack'd have something to say. Plus there's always the element of danger. Look what happens to her fiancees....
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 12:16, Reply)
smashed into my car on the way into work last night,car was a complete write off and so I guess that counts as a inappropriate crush.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:59, Reply)
Allo Allo.......
Helga really did it for me, don't know if it was the uniform, the stockings & suspenders or the accent.

Sunday evenings with the parents watching Allo Allo always had to be interrupted for a quick hand shandy - not in front of the folks though. I'm not that sick.

(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:38, Reply)
Inappropriate? ooh lots..
Some of the prettier dangerous male criminals/serial killers etc. Fortunately this isn't something that applies in real life, or a large part of my fantasies. Just the combination of danger and prettiness I suppose.

Cheetara off Thundercats
Straight male friends, or lesbian friends.

The rest of my fantasies are entirely appropriate, fortunately..
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:25, Reply)
I've got an unhealthy crush
on the girl in accounts that sits on the desk in front of me. Long legs, big tits, blonde hair.

I would.

And the presenters on childrens tv (any channel) Wife's pregnant again, so for the first 3 months I live the life of a monk and anything with boobies gives me the horn.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:19, Reply)
i can remember her being born!
first post woohoo and all that gubbins.

my mates (and my mum is her mums best friend) sister has just turned 16 and is stunning, a anna kournikova lookalike and she knows it. recent discussion in the pub reveals i am not alone but it doesnt make me feel any less dirty since i can remember the day she was born. what makes it worse is the fact that i saw the potential when she was about 12.

do u think u can get a young persons (no pun intended, well maybe slightly) on a ticket to hull?
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:15, Reply)
if only cartoon characters were real...
then Cheetarah from Thundercats would have been subject to a super fast violation - I bet she makes nice cakes too...
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:40, Reply)
Currently crushing on a B3TA'n
I am in the process of stalking Ancrenne.

Frankly the thought of a 30 something woman with the mind of a highly hormoned teen girl, makes my trousers dance.

I would gladly drink piss through a tramps sock for 15 minutes in her boudoir.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:26, Reply)
Faith Browns affect on a young lad..
One time when I was an innocent child, sat cross legged on the front room carpet soaking in all manner of Saturday evening telly, working my way through packet after packet of Monster Munch and generally being lazy, I remember some cheap comedy impressionist program appearing.
I'd never seen Faith Brown before, but since then I've never forgotten her.
For those who don't remember her I'll try and explain - she was one of those random acts that would appear on evening variety shows in the 80's - she was blonde, alot older than me, and had the biggest bloody tits I'd ever seen in my life.
The inappropriate thing is she's 64 now, and I still bloody well would.


Oh - and with regard Lazy Towns Stephanie you're all evil, evil men. But I would too.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:12, Reply)
And finally......
Fiona Bruce BBC newsreader golly gosh she makes me rock hard......ooh I've just cum ! i'm really upset when that Welsh twat is doing the news..
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:10, Reply)
Always had a soft spot for Singing Girls
From early crushes for Pat Benetar and Blondie's Debbie Harry, up to today's offerings of Avril Lavigne and Cristina Scabbia.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:09, Reply)
Take your pick
I have had some very strange crushes in the past, but they are defo getting worse. In no particular order:

Martin from EastEnders, but about 5 years ago when he was a young teenager

David Cameron - so masterful

Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen - looks so clean but I bet he's dirty

Boris Becker but only recently

The scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:08, Reply)
I too had a small infatuation with a female teacher...
I used to go to the music dept every day for my lunch and would hang around hoping she would be there. I found out where she lived (our school bus drove past it, its not like I went looking!!) and would stare dreamily at her house on the home from school. I thought I was being quite discreet, but oh no. I consistently got the p*ss ripped out of me by fellow teachers and pupils. My cries of ‘I don’t fancy her, I just like music’ fell on deaf ears.. I even had her mobile number (she gave it to me!!) and we would text each other.. I was in love… *sigh* that might be why everyone from my school years now think I am a lesbian…Hmmmm..
More recently:
Alan Rickman – Oh yes, in Harry Potter and Dogma and esp. in Rasputin.
Over the summer it was a very good, older male friend, who was the subject of my fantasies, but that’s all his fault and now I hate him. Bah.
Sorry for the long first post, but if she did have any length, she never showed it to me.. Much to my teenage disappointment.. *pop*
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:05, Reply)
Sooooooooo WRONG!
So much inappropriateness ;-)

1) Mrs Smith (french teacher) - the most flirtatious piece of fanny in the school, I swear that she could've had the entire 6th form, married to the PE teacher who used to punish those who were caught looking at his wifes norks i.e EVERYONE.

2) You're Mum (obviously)

3) Jessica Rabbit - not unusual but spent far too much time oin the pause button looking for the rumoured flash of breasticles. I was 22.

First Post, and by God thats a relief - Hi Elaine! Ooooooooooof!
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:04, Reply)
Also, check out...
...the drummer from Feeder. The current one that is, rather than the dead one.


WOOF! C'mere you :)

Okay, not inappropriate at all aside from the fact that I'm a bloke too, but still - I would.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 9:58, Reply)
lovely buns
i actually get quite warmly gooey at the thought of a handjob off jane asher. she just has the sort of hands that i could happily mudge me cake batter all over. i think i've fancied her since i was a wee corporal, 25 odd years or so.
oooh, and lorraine kelly (and i dont like bigger girls)
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 9:19, Reply)
9 to 5
I fell in love with Sheena Easton when I saw her singing 9 to 5 on Tizwaz.....might have been Swap Shop, can't 'member. Mummy caught me snogging the telly.
I had a similar crush on the Papa Dont Preach era Madonna. Pausing the video, frame by frame, just to try and catch a glimpse of a nipple. Mummy caught me having a fiddle to that one.
I am now very happily married to Cyndi Lauper, thank you very much.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 5:52, Reply)
My best mate Colin...

...who even though he's a Geordie, for some God foresaken reason he's a Liverpool supporter. Anyway, a few years ago now he got tickets to his first Liverpool game, an FA Cup semi final match.....at Hillsborough.

Now considering that Colin's, how shall we say, a great big fat sweaty bastard, he'd saved a full years worth of pocket money for that ticket, and during the unfortunate accident that occured that fateful day, 3 Big Macs 2 hot dogs and a can of Pepsi were knocked out of Colins hands. I tell you, they certainly don't come any more inappropriate than that for my fat friend Colin.
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 0:46, Reply)
Bart Simpson. But only when he had his hair in a side parting- like when he was going to church in the earlier episodes.
My 7 year old sister fancies him now!
(, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 0:14, Reply)

This question is now closed.

Pages: Latest, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, ... 1