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This is a question Inappropriate crushes

As a teenager I was obsessed by my piano teacher - I hated playing the piano, but carried on because she was so lovely. OK, it was because she used to wear very plunging necklines.

I even stopped practicing because the worse I was, the more she'd sit at the piano to show me how to play a piece and I could stand behind her and look down her top.

Aaaaargh. Confess your own crushes so I don't look like a breast-obssessed stalker.

(, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 10:42)
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This question is now closed.

innapropriate crushes
Too many to mention,most recent female mates of what is now my ex.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 23:47, Reply)
We all do
Stephanie from Lazytown goes without saying.I doubt there's a bloke here,who,having seen her and not known how old she is,gave it some serious consideration.I even said to my wife that I thought she was all right when I walked past the telly.Then I googled her to look for pictures and felt a bit queasy.I'm still married,so that's good.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 23:38, Reply)
im ashamed to say
i agree with this.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 23:17, Reply)
Bakery girls
Galapagos Tortise, I work in a bakery and I've yet to see someone like that! Mind you, all my colleagues are over fifty...

And rachelswipe, I'm far too busy drooling over him or the... intreguing stories I find to make a website!

That, and I'm crap at it!
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 23:13, Reply)
from the Angry Beavers.

God knows why. I can't have been *that* young either.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 23:06, Reply)
You have inspired my first post.

I too had a big crush on Aramis, and thought I was the only one.

However, about 15 years later a dog's cock went accidentally in my mouth when I was lying on my back laughing on a bouncy castle, so I win (even though he was rubbish at fencing).

No apologies for the lack of length, it was only a terrier.

PS - I also had a thing for Disney's Robin Hood. But he was a bit of a fox.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 22:41, Reply)
My brother, Mustaffa Al-Jazeera

doesn't really get to see much of his current crush, only her eyes.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 22:02, Reply)
another thing comes to mind...
I really have a thing for girls working in bakeries, must be something about the mussed up hair and bedroom eyes after kneading dough since 4:30 AM. They all seem so healthy. 90% of them are really cute and full bossomed, no doubt from the odd slice of cake they must pilfer now and again. That and they smell like doughnuts. Which is always a plus.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 20:37, Reply)
Most people
A friend of my dads fancies Daisy Duck.

I fancy any man wearing eyeliner, Hannibal Lecter, girls in tutus, androgynous (sp) people and big scary tattooed guys carrying ickle teeny babies. Oh, and Richard Hammond but I think pretty much everyone fancies him.
Mr Deadly was inappropriate as I was with his younger brother when we met.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 20:35, Reply)
I have odd taste, I accept that.
Currently I am totally and utterly weak at the knees over James May, gawd love 'im.

But my very very first crush, at the age of about 4, was the lovely Aramis out of Dogtanian. What a hunk.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 20:06, Reply)
And another one
Fern Brittan, there's something about the slightly plumpy mother figures that has always done something weird to me
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 19:56, Reply)
Ah, erm, this isn't sick or anything, is it?
I confess to a mad crush on Lou, Andy's carer, from Little Britain. I don't even like that kind of hair but I just want to ram my tongue down his throat.

Now for my much more normal crush from LB: Tony Head. Humma, humma.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 19:56, Reply)
ohhh when will my summer girl meet me?
the rentals original MOOG player cherylyn westerich is almost impossible to find a picture of on google, BUT MY GOD!the woman is gorgeous i used to watch the video for 'waiting' for hours just to get a look, pretty girl and a good band what more do i want? cake!? i have cake too **smugs**
good point miss hoolie from balamory is also quite worth a squirt
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 19:44, Reply)
I am bi so it is allowed...
But still, dear God was I horrified when I woke the following morning. Watched Eng vs Paraguay with some mates and randoms round someones house, drinking in the garden, in the sunshine on an empty stomach. The obvious happens and I get slaughtered, the evening match was Ivory Coast vs Argentina (I think) it was about then that whenever there was a close up of Didier Drogba that I decide to tell everyone how he gives me the horn. My missus at the time was not best pleased.

I secretly still stand by my statement though and whenever I see him now I do still have a little light in my heart for the 'orrible little West London money grabbing scumbag fucker.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 19:42, Reply)
In no particular order
Josie Jump.Both versions.Pigtails,good to hold on to.

Miss Hoolie.Big blue-eyed temptress.She wants it.

Edie McRedie.She could play with my gearstick etc.

Suzy Sweet or Penny Pocket.I can never remember which is which.Its the Geordie lass in the wheelchair.She's well dirty.

Oh,Nicole of Cbeebies too.In the worst way.I'm off for an extended shower.And a wank.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 19:37, Reply)
I used to fancy that dog with a bow off Aristocats...actually it was a cat
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 19:07, Reply)
Big hooter, but...
Steffi Graf was a LONG time favourite of mine...sure, big hooter and the face aint so hot but the BOD!
And the money, don't forget the money.
Now shacked up with someone worse looking than me, no justice in this world.
Still, he's bald, I aint, so who's laughing now?
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 19:01, Reply)
House is on Channel 5 on Saturday night at about 6:20 I think. It is also sometimes on hallmark, but not at the moment cos they're waiting for the new series to come to the UK as its made in America and the get it first :(
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 18:58, Reply)
im not a pedo!
as a joke a mate put a wallpaper on my work PC from a childrens tv show called "Lazy Town". Having never seeing the program before I looked at the "young lady" and said something to the lines of "wow she's real nice, look at that ass". .. A deadly hush falls upon the room as im told that she was 8 years old. Refusing to believe I did a net search to find out that they were indeed wrong. "Its ok mate shes 12 and not 8 after all".
I honestly to this day say she looked 18 on the picture but i guess thats what they all say :(
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 18:52, Reply)
Work-related wrong'un
I used to have a bit of a thing for this girl at my old place even though, objectively, she was a bit of a munter. A hatchet-faced misery even. Surprising then that I'd spend many an afternoon in a blissful reverie centred primarily on boshing one right up her chute. God knows why. Jolie laide? Fuck knows.

The French, eh? They've got a word for everything. Except shallow. Les twats.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 18:48, Reply)
When I was 8 I had a crush on the Lola Bunny charecter from spacejam... Hahahaha! Yeah... also had a crush on Jessica from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"...
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:39, Reply)
My bisexual leanings...
Although I am very happy with my considerably male boyfriend, there was a time when I waaaay preferred girls. I shall put them into chronological order so you can watch my taste refine. This is from the age of about 8 to now.

* The girl from Never Ending Story.
* Mariah Carey
* Pammy
* Arwen (LOTR)
* tAtU
* Asia Argento
* Angelina Joile.

Also,my boyfriend recently cut all his hair very short and trimmed his beard,so while we were in the bath together he tucked his cock between his legs to make a 'mangina' and he looked like the hottest lesbian Id ever seen!

It felt so wrong,but looked so right....
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:25, Reply)
Smile Carol
Carol Smillie.

Id fucking smash her back doors in like a screen door in a hurricane.

Then Id make her a sandwich and some Tea.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:20, Reply)
Every time a new girly pop-sensation arises, my Canadian friend gets a new inappropriate crush. The Olsen twins, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, etc. I'm sure he's on the Hermione Grainger watch-list. Maybe it's because the Canadian age of consent is only 14.

Personally, all of my inappropriate crushes are cartoon women - my first crush ever was Lt. Cdr. Lisa Hayes from Robotech (early 80s). The rest of my crushes are wholly appropriate.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:15, Reply)
Quite tricky situation
Well seeing as I've been in this relationship I'm in now for a year my crush would be devastating should it get found out. See I have the hugest crush on my best friend (she female me male ug).

Problem is she likes me too! Jesus wept I don't know what to do because I love them both.

Anyway on subject here... I had crushes on many of my teachers they I was such a horny lad. I'm still only 19 but hell I've got some self control these days.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:14, Reply)
so i am normal then
caroline quentin
liza tarbuck, "Watching" early days
Melissa joan hart - way too young.
zoe wanamaker - way too old.

And i still would leave my wife for jet from gladiators.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:10, Reply)
Oh, er, Ed !
First inappropriate crush: high-school art teacher. Oh, such a cliche. I used to stay after school and work on 'projects' just to watch him take his tie off at 3:20.

Latest inappropriate crush: not at all inappropriate, except that I am married and quite loudly said "Ed Norton is SUPER SHIT-HOT" in the store yesterday. Deep hotness was causing mouth disorder. I realize I was never attracted to Norton until I met hubby, who has the same tallish lank about him, pale complexion and narrow face, complete with neatly trimmed "Illusionist"-era facial hair. Growl.

Best inappropriate crush: husband. I was a freshman with an on/off boyfriend, he a senior with a longtime girlfriend, not to mention head of my college club in a position of respectability. Girlfriend and boyfriend showed true (unpleasant) colors, I bought a new bra, and the rest was falling off a log. We could not stay away from each other and cannot to this day. Yow.
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:08, Reply)
WHAT? billy kennedy turned up as no-longer-barely-legal in "house"? i've never seen it, frankly 'cos i'm usually in the pub or down the gym than watching tv.

but this rumour might have to be checked out. and didn't someone else say it has hugh laurie in it as well, also a sneaky crush of mine??? damnit, i've missed out!
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 17:05, Reply)
OK, it has to be said ...
... and I'm sure I speak for all the other guys on B3TA. I love the frisson of reading the anonymous and therefore more revealing inner fantasies of our female B3tans. Every time I read of a lurid crush, a bisexual leaning or a grubby subliminal fetish, my loins begin to twitch.

All women B3tan's, I salute you! 'Specially if you're half my age (heh! heh! heh!)
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 16:26, Reply)
Princess Leia
Years before she wore *that* gold bikini, the look of apprehension on her face as Darth enters her cell, followed by some sort of floaty torture probe was enough to fire my pre-pubescent imagination into running wild. And that was her dad. Fucking hell.

More recently - Helen Baxendale (who I met, but blew it by offering her a spliff, though in my defence I was smoking it before she sat down at my table and introduced herself), Anna Friel, Kylie Minogue and a girl I've known for years from off of another message board, but who I've never actually met...all fairly "normal".

Oh, and this lady, the Narrator from the second renaissance in the Animatrix:

...and BlackArachnia in Beast Wars, but the less said about that the better...
(, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 16:26, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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