This Morning
Several grapes fell out of my fridge and onto the floor so i stamped on them.

I guess that was another inappropriate crush.
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:37, Reply)

Has anyone ever seen Hi-5?
It's an Australian kids TV show they sometimes show on Channel 5.

All the female presenters are, for want of a better word, f***ing gorgeous.

Judge for yourself: www.hi5.com.au/hi5pictures.asp

The inappropriate part comes from getting the horn from watching a TV show meant from pre-schoolers... I never had this problem when Sandy Toksvig used to present CITV!
( Weetobix, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:35, Reply)

My best mates mum
I was 13 when my best mate decided it would be a good idea to show me the slides he found in his mum's drawer of her in various poses of undress and with a large collection of 'tools'. He then showed my her femidom in the bathroom cabinet.

I have to shamefully admit to locking myself in the bathroom and having a wank over the femidom, manically picturing the slides in my head. The worst part about it, is that she was far from a MILF (she actually looked more like my mate).

It actually makes me feel a little sick thinking about it. But I was 13 and anything was good wank material in those days.

First post!

Length - Much bigger now than back then
(multimedia, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:30, Reply)

Wesley Crusher was hot...
...that being the only half-decent one to admit to.

But, as a confused little boy of about 5 or 6, I had a massive thing for Pat Sharp. Whilst other lads dreamed of the female twins from Fun House lezzing it up, I wanted the mighty mullet of Pat Sharp and his sexy arms.

Looking at this in black and white, I think I need more coffee.
(Mikhail Gorbachev If only Chupa-Chups made dildos..., Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:29, Reply)

I used to fancy
my vicar, back in the days we went to church. He was round our house for tea one day when I was about 7. I thought it would be a good idea to get my magna doodle out and write him a message... I drew a rose and wrote 'I love you' and then showed him it. My parents were mortified, but I think he found it charming.
(kimothy, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:25, Reply)

The shame, the shame
First crush - Tom Baker as Doctor Who. Second crush - Noel Edmonds. Third - Paul Daniels. I liked K9, Posh Paws and magic. A lot. I am still a spinster.
(whatswiththemonkey, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:22, Reply)

School Days.
Miss McClaren was my Design and Technology from year 8 to year 11.

She have me a lot of wood.

I especially liked it when she would show me the correct procedure on handling my dowel rod.
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:20, Reply)

treat me like the dog i am
i would quite happily check the drip tray of my boss - the only reason I accepted my current employment. cant help it, but she is fit and rides bikes and has a full back tattoo. i got in early this morning and her first words were - Im six months pregnant. Not to me obviously, but it has sort of shattered my illusions of late night impromptu fumbling in teh store cupboard.
(kaptinkurtz, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:19, Reply)

Why do I say this?
I must admit that I found Cheetarah from Thundercats pretty sexy.
(quedge, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:15, Reply)

More Star Trek
Ironically named Wesley Crusher (played by Will Wheaton) was my first major TV crush in Start Trek The Next Generation when I was 13/14 (in the early / mid 90s).

I would go mad about making sure I saw star trek, my folks just thought I was a massive sci-fi fan. Pfft! It was those very tight and revealing body suits that really made it!
( Actually i was skiving on, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:14, Reply)

The French bird
on Tots TV


(although I always knew static shocks and friction burns could be a problem)
( dogfish, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:14, Reply)

i used to have a crush on my art teacher.
once, she was wearing white pants and you could see her black underwear underneat. so i figured it was a good idea to mention it.
it wasn't...
( Mr. Johnson, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:13, Reply)

A fellow commuter
There is the most gorgeous young Indian lady who travels on my train every day. She has the most beautiful dark brown eyes, long black hair and wonderful skin. I could literally drown in her eyes and on the odd occasion she has smiled at me, I almost melted.

The fact that she is younger than my daughter is, however, quite a worry for me.

Lurker - I'm definitely with you on the Susan Kennedy front.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:12, Reply)

Gadget
You know, the mechanically gifted mouse chick from Rescue Rangers.
Actually, I ought own up to Shelley Duvall from The Shining too.
I fear I am attracted to mouselike women.
(lord nose, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:12, Reply)

I had a massive crush...
.....on my sister.

Then again, we live in Norfolk.





*May not be 100% fact.
(CdrVimes, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:06, Reply)

I quite inappropriately had a crush on
& briefly enjoyed time with a man called Tony.
I was 19, he was 42, married in the year I was born, one of my dad's best mates, & the father of my little sister's best mate.

Although a lot of people were hurt by our selfishness, my lasting memory of the whole experience was waking up after our first night together to find skiddies in his forest green grandad pants, & being horrified when I discovered he would not be fellated.

Older men really are not all that fun.
( ImNotRightBotheredMe fool, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:04, Reply)

Patrick Stewart
But only as Jean-Luc Picard. Old man in uniform, hells yeah.

Also, I had my first ever naughty dream when I was 4. And it was about David Bowie in Labyrinth. I swear those leggings do things to peoples brains
(missyoshi ms paint is where it's at, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:04, Reply)

Oh the shame
Donald Trump

What more can I say.

In my defence, it was a brief crush and I'm over it now...
(Eldred, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:03, Reply)

Kelly Osbourne
I know its wrong, but i just want to pin her down and f**k that smug grin off her fat face. Nice tits though eh?

Still wrong though!
(McBollocks stop being so fucking pretentious., Thu 28 Sep 2006, 12:03, Reply)

Susan Kennedy
I'm not even sorry.
( The Lurker Plenty One, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:55, Reply)

grandmasterfluffles
Milliband is nothing -

I was, to my own extreme disgust, rather taken with Michael Portillo when I saw him in that programme where he had to swap lives with a single mother.

And Boris Johnson would definitely get it.

Mmmm, inappropriate Tories!
(DustyMonkey, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:38, Reply)

Inappropriate? Who says?
Back when I was 19, I was seeing a 17 year old girl I with whom I worked in a pub kitchen, Tamsyn. Everything was going very well until I met the family.

Her sister was 16, meaning her mum had got straight back up the duff after delivering Tamsyn, and was hot as hell. It didn't help that she was the spitting image of her sister. What was worse was her mother had given birth to Tamsyn at 16, and consequently was only 33 (14 years my senior) and still looked cracking.

If only I'd fancied her dad, that would have been totally inappropriate!

No apologies for crapness or length, seeing as it's not that long anyway. Besides, I'm sure there'll be plenty of similar stories (or worse) to come.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:35, Reply)

Best friend
Full blown teenage crush on female best friend that took several years to get over and to a certain extent never will.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:34, Reply)

Oh, the shame!
I think David Miliband is quite fit.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:29, Reply)

MY PRIMARY School teacher...
I was about 8 and my teacher Mrs Saltmarsh use dto allow me to kiss her after school, my mum was a cleaner at the school, so I used to stay there late. One day I told her I thought she was Sexy, I'd just heard it that day at school... I think thats when she freaked out.

Mind you, the fact she was letting an 8 year old kiss her maybe should have given it away.

I saw her about a year ago actually, man she is such a milf now...
(thatdudewithbreasts, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:29, Reply)

School Hard-on

My English teacher used to give me wood… every single lesson.
(Minty Hit, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:24, Reply)

When I was a young
14 year old we had a young 21 year old PE teacher straight out of uni on teacher training. We were learning how to do hand stands and in groups of two, she came round to see how we were doing. My friend and I both struggled so she said she would do a handstand and I had to grab her legs to show how I could support my colleague. So, down on to her head and hands she went. Up went her legs, I grabbed them. Then suddenly down went her jumper to reveal lovely large 21 year old pert breasts!! She started to struggle but I manged to hold her legs long enough for me and my mate to get a good look!!

We loved her forever more after that!
(maddave, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 11:12, Reply)

And What's Wrong
With being obsessed by breasts?

[nothing mate, nothing]

Jenny Agutter.

In pretty much every film she's ever appeared in she gets her kit off. Except The Railway Children - shame.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 10:56, Reply)