When
I was a child I found a lot of money lying around the house in a box at home. There was so much money there that I thought nobody would miss one of the crisp twenties that festooned this vessel, so I took one and ran out of the house……This was 1982, so £20 seemed like a fortune in those days, especially as a six year old. Now how to spend my new found wealth….hmm I have a cunning plan I thought, I’ll go to the shops at the top of the road and spend it all on sweets. In reality this was a terrible idea but I didn’t let logic get in the way of this genius plan. So I put on my boots and hat, grabbed my pet dog and made the short journey to the nearest shop.

The shop at the top of the hill I lived on was a big red building and on entering I was greeted by the shopkeeper who looked a bit taken a back at how young I was, never the less he asked how he could help. I asked the shopkeeper for twenty quids worth of cough candy and other different assortments of sugary goodness. He looked a little concerned that one so young had twenty pounds in the first place and enquired whether I had the money to pay for all this stuff. Quick as a flash I proudly whipped at the crisp twenty and placed it on the counter, rather than accept the note he slowly walked up to the phone and this is what he said –

‘Is that Mr. Arrow, great because your son has raided your monopoly set again, could you come and pick him up please!?’

Old man wasn’t best pleased, didn’t get to pass go, didn’t collect 200 pounds and went straight to jail/bed. :(
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 13:41, 8 replies)

Hahahaha I rather like this.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 13:48, closed)

Best one yet.

(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 11 Jul 2012, 14:15, closed)

I do hope that the shopkeep and your dad
had special, bright red telephones, for just such an occasion. if your dad then dressed as Barman to pick you up, so much the better.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 14:25, closed)

dinner dinner BARMAN

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 14:28, closed)

I love the auto-correct on my new phone.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 14:55, closed)

clicks

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 14:46, closed)

£20 worth of sweets in 1982?
That would have been insane. All I can think of is 400 packets of polos.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:07, closed)

A friend of mine tried this with a real 10
The shop was half a block from his home. His mum came and dragged him home by the ear. He wasn't allowed to play with me after that.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:46, closed)