cold calling
Much as I despise the interruption. I do have some fun from these. My usual responses:

- Just let the phone dangle off the cord so they can hear the radio or whatever in the background. Sometimes they stay on the line for ages.
- Begin to sing in a faux-operatic voice about my genitals.
- Lie. One company was offereing a free mobile phone to anyone aged between 16 and 60. I told them I was 103.
- Ask them if they have welcomed Jesus into their life.

I've got no pity at all and I refuse to be nice to this person who has invited themselves into my personal space to sell me some shit. It's bad enough in itself, but when someone with an inpenetrable Bangladeshi or Chinese accent tells me their name is Rupert or Whitney while my delicate caper sauce is burning on the stove, it's time to fuck them over.
(frankspencer, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 14:45, 8 replies)

Yes.

A favourite of mine is just to ask them to hold on for a second, please, then continue with whatever I was doing anyway.

I have no idea how long it takes for them to get bored, but I almost always just forget all about it for a few hours.
( Moey, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 14:56, closed)

I hate them
you answer the phone, there's a pause and then a crackily line with some asian gentleman asking me something incomprehensible. I have honestly considered getting rid of my phone, I rarely use it anyway.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:45, closed)

Next time I get one
I'm trying all of those. Thanks!

*clicks*
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:55, closed)

try this one
pretend you're having a heart attack on the phone
(europe-who, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:56, closed)

Two more things to try
Doubling glazing types normally ask if you'd like any windows replaced. Say "yes". They will ask how many. "47" will cause them to hang up.

Also did one of those surveys once, must have taken her 15 or so questions to twig that I was just replying "Yes" to each one.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 16:23, closed)

You could just get TPS registered,
works for me.
(Belgaer is, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 14:14, closed)

"- Begin to sing in a faux-operatic voice about my genitals."
Frank, perhaps you could favour us with one of your selections...
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 3:47, closed)

Cold calls piss me off so much
I'm registered with the TPS but still get the damn calls.

I just unplug the phone now - my mobile gives me all the call time I need (or I have no friends)
( snee held his breath since, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 8:12, closed)