I once ran my own small business…

and had to regularly put up with a drizzly shower of complaining, loose-toothed plebites. They were constantly griping about one thing or another, despite the fact that my trade was rather…erm…’specialised’.

The only products I sold were tailor-made-to order, ladies & gent’s fake afro wigs (for use at 70’s parties, or whatever floated their respective ‘afro-requirement’ boat – it wasn’t for me to judge).

My ‘His and Hers’ collection was a particular favourite of many, but there always seemed to be some cockswill who would find a way to complain…ignoring the hard work, effort and hand-made-with-love-ness that I put into each and every delightful ‘fro…

Despite my excellent products, top service and cheery nature, they never failed to find something to pick holes in…the whinging buckets of cuntspit.

I remember the moaning, potato-headed moo-cow who insisted that I made a ‘His & Hers’ collection one afternoon; and when I informed her that such quality merchandise would take 2 weeks to make, proceeded to fly into a purple-faced, fist-waving rage, insisting that I had to make them immediately because her party was the next day!

Well, not wanting to disappoint, I spent all night working on them…and they were masterpieces. I even named them after my favourite celebs that sported afros, ‘Sam’ (After Samuel L. Jackson) and ‘Mel’ (after Mel B from the Spice Girls).

First thing the next morning the hideous old trollop was there…beating on my door and shouting for her goods. When I let her in and proudly showed her the fruits of my labour, she tutted derisively, before literally throwing ‘Sam’ at my face and saying that she would only pay for the other one. What a fucking bitch!

I knew there and then that I had to give up the business, and dealing with the general public, for ever.

Yet despite my sadness, as she waddled out of the door, I still felt a twinge of satisfaction, knowing that when she went to the party, everybody would be talking about my…

…

Custom ‘Hers’ ‘fro, ‘Mel’



Aw, I know it’s still early…but I just can’t think of anything else
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:46, 5 replies)

Jesus...
.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:50, closed)

That's pretty bad

( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:54, closed)

mein gott in himmel
zat is all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:55, closed)

Vot ze fraulein zaid!
*clack*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:26, closed)

that
almost gets a click . . . .


....


on the ignore button!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:43, closed)