Worthy of a pearoast
My sisters and I used to pound on each other with unerring regularity.

My father once interrupted a knock-down, drag-out fight that had degenerated into my middle sister and I on the floor, pulling each other's hair and attempting to bite each other. Furious, he dragged us both out to the garage. As my father had a ferocious temper, we were already terrified about what kind of punishment we were about to receive.

"ALRIGHT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" He hands me a sledgehammer, then turns to my sister...."YOU'RE SMALLER, HERE'S AN AXE! NOW, IF YOU'RE BOTH SET ON KILLING ONE ANOTHER, JUST DO IT AND GET IT OVER WITH!"

At which point we both burst into tears and swear never to fight again. It was (relatively) effective, too...I don't think we really fought again for at least a fortnight, which was a bit of a record in our house
(herbivorous, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 21:35, 3 replies)

"My sisters and I used to pound on each other with unerring regularity."
Well, there's a comically ambiguous opening gambit.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 21:40, closed)

Same - I r3ead the first sentence and didnt read any further....in case the juicy mental image was ruined.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 30 Nov 2010, 1:43, closed)

I hear banjoes....

(DownhillGardener no-one does it like that anymore, Tue 30 Nov 2010, 8:43, closed)