You've been talking in your sleep...
Four o' clock in the morning... as Andrew Eldritch once intoned menacingly on the track 'After Hours' (I think). It's the middle of winter, it's pitch black in our room, save for the glow coming from the LCD on the alarm, and I'm gradually awoken by some barely distinguishable mumblings from the missus; an incoherent mixture of English and Greek (for some reason she speaks Greek when she's sleep-talking, it's quite amusing). I'm lying there, half amused by the barely-coherent ramblings, but half pissed off as I know that if I don't get back to sleep within the next ten minutes then I'm going to lie awake until just before the alarm goes off at seven.

The murmerings continue unabated, becoming more random and more incomprehensible than Paul Gascoigne on a lucid day. I try giving her a gentle prod (quiet at the back), but to no avail.

She'll stop soon, I think. She usually does.

But no. Fifteen more minutes of dogged chuntering and she still hasn't stopped. At this point I'm about to contemplate getting up and kipping on the sofa, when suddenly she sits bolt upright, a look of collosal indignation on her face (I can make this out as my eyes have gradually got used to the darkness), and to no-one in particular venomously announces...

OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!

Then there's a brief pause as she sits there shaking her head disapprovingly, before laying back down and finally drifting off into a fitful slumber.

I didn't manage to get back to sleep properly after that. I was too busy giggling like a 12 year old.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 27 Jul 2009, 21:08, 8 replies)

I can sympathise with your missus:
I frequently am awakened by an elbow in my ribs if I've been snoring or muttering too loudly and thus keeping Ms Crow awake.

A few years ago, I had to share a hotel room with my parents and they told me that they didn't know what I was talking about in my sleep, nor who I was talking to, but I was very insistent and kept saying "Listen...no, listen to me..."

I once shared a room with my sister and woke up to the sound of her singing arpeggios in her sleep. (In tune as well, as far as my ropey ear could tell)

But best of all, I've been accused of playing air guitar in my sleep.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 27 Jul 2009, 21:50, closed)

When she was murmuring, did it sound like....
"Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Davro's Granddad R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn"?
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 8:27, closed)

Pfffft!

(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 17:03, closed)

Can sympathise
In the past, I used to regularly have to chase and grab my wife who had leaped out of bed, screaming, while fast asleep. If I didn't get to her in time she was likely to throw herself out of the window or otherwise hurt herself.

Doesn't seem to happen so often now so maybe it wears off with time?
(Mork, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 9:16, closed)

Try talking back
the more gibberish the better. It's hilarious.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 10:10, closed)

Nah
She's half deaf - she wouldn't even hear me!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 11:40, closed)

I HEARD THAT!

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 11:52, closed)

He he he...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 12:12, closed)