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This is a question Dates Gone Wrong

Ever gone on a date when "she" turned out to be a male university lecturer in his 50s who tucked his shirt into his Y-fronts? No, me neither. Tell us how it all went shit-faced.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 13:13)
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I once went out with a girl. She kissed like an overexcited puppy licks faces, one then would have assumed
she could handle and suck cock with the same level of enthusiasm. I was wrong in this assumption, I imagine a corpse would make a better job of it.
(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:40, 18 replies)
That awkward moment when she's got her lips around it...
...and doesn't move. Or do anything. So after a moment you're left wondering if maybe she's died.

And then it gets even more awkward.
(I helped save b3ta! gone, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:45, closed)

And then it gets even more awkward erotic
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 9:36, closed)
Because you've got the hammer ready, but now you're not sure whether to use it?

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 5 Sep 2014, 14:23, closed)
bit gay mate

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 21:15, closed)
I went out with a chick that did anal but didn't do blow jobs.
How mental is that!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 21:17, closed)
Did you try asking before fucking her in the arse?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 21:37, closed)
Course not.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 21:39, closed)
I like your style.

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 21:54, closed)
Funny, I knew a girl who went for that sort of thing...

(I helped save b3ta! gone, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 22:26, closed)
Maybe, it was because she knew where the cocks had been.

(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 21:55, closed)
You knew Victoria from Bournemouth too then?

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Thu 4 Sep 2014, 22:32, closed)
Did she lube
before fucking you in the arse with a rubbercock?
(SlantedScience, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 0:33, closed)
no you didn't
you're a nasty little virgin
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 9:49, closed)
yes, I really did

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 10:00, closed)
^Protesting too much.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 5 Sep 2014, 14:24, closed)
you should have requested the blow job first.
Just saying.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 2:33, closed)
Enthusiasm and good technique are not synonymous by any stretch of the imagination.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 10:09, closed)
What a charming
anecdote.
(username failed moderation, Fri 5 Sep 2014, 10:43, closed)

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