It was the first time and the last time
I haven't seen a dead body but your mothers may as well have been dead, she lay there lifeless as I pounded my meat into her, didn't even make a noise, her glassy eyes staring at the ceiling, maybe it was the rohypnol, maybe it was the smack, all I know is that she was begging for it, the dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty bitch.

.....the haziness of that evening is now coming back to me, your mother may well have been dead as i pounded my meat truncheon into her time and again, my large heavy gonads thwapping against her undercarriage.......

....she had approached me in a bar earlier that evening, 'Do I know you' she said, 'Not as well as you will know me later on' I replied with a nonchalant smile and flick of my hair. Her perfume was intoxicating, and her ruby red lips glistened under the spotlights shining on the bar. I offered to get her a drink, which she readily accepted. We chatted about many things, it turned out we were from the same town and had been to the same school, all-be-it I had been a few years her junior. We also skirted around the topic of under performing schools and Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I told her how i once had shat myself after straining so hard to do a fart that my cheeks went beetroot red.
We continued on and had many more drinks and were eventually asked to leave by the bar staff after they closed up. We stumbled outside, and upon hitting the fresh air I hailed her a taxi and sent her on her way home, sometimes i still remember that night with fond memories, the carousel, the big wheel, candy floss by the bonfire, with the guy alight atop. the sweet smell of chestnuts roasting and the laughter of children as they danced and skipped around the motionless crowd, watching the fireworks as they made the most beautiful colours and displays in the night sky. The food was particularly good as well, pumpkins and furry eggs washed down with a sweet golden warm glass full of urine.....

......I waited for her on the subway but she did not come, I waited for her at the station, and still she did not appear. Then suddenly, every little piece of my heart tied up in knots and I was in heaven. The message that was transpiring through the precipitation was more and more lucid as the haziness lifted and the sunshine spilt over the edge and illuminated the bonjela tube balanced precariously.....

.....her body was cold by the time I finished pounding and emptied my seed into her, I withdrew and told her I loved her. She didnt reply, I thought she would prefer it if I left. I stroked her hair, which fell off her head in large clumps such was the ferocity of my lovemaking and kissed her cheek bidding her farewell. I knew this would be the last time we would see each other, yet she hid her emotion well, like a corpse hiding any signs of life. I walked to the door, turned round and shouted over at her 'Jusqu'à ce que nous rencontrons encore, mon bien-aimé chéri, pouvoir notre amour notre toujours bond sur les océans et est tombé des arbres. '

The End
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:18, 10 replies)

...
Do you want to piss off now?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:20, closed)

^^^ this.
Also, you are one sick fuck.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:28, closed)

....I'm intrigued...

...I told her how i once had shat myself after straining so hard to do a fart that my cheeks went beetroot red...

ass cheeks or face cheeks?
( insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:30, closed)

There's an EDIT button for a reason
And it wasn't a funny story the first time you tried to post it. Expanding it badly over several posts just makes you look a tosser.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:34, closed)

My one great sadness
is that I am unlikely to ever see your cold dead body, you horrible, horrible, little man.
(p0zitr0n - phunarmically charged particle, detected at, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:35, closed)

cheeks
twas my face cheeks, although if i had of had my undercarriage mirror i would have checked my ass cheeks, nevertheless they ended up painted brown
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:37, closed)

Yawn
*Ignores*
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:38, closed)

...cheeks...
Thanks, I'm not intrigued any more. Now I can call you a twat...

...you twat...
( insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:42, closed)

sorry people
i am assuming you are all clicking 'i like this'.

I know I am a twat, just bored today, your mothers haven't been very attentive lately, dirty fucking whores of cunts that they are.
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 12:51, closed)

Not funny,
interesting, or well-written. Welcome to the ignore list.
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 13:32, closed)