Once...
A bit of bread got stuck in the toaster...

Clever me tried to spear it with a knife and promptly electrocuted myself.

The knife flew out of my hand and almost landed in my foot!

I now use plastic cutlery.
(MissFlee tried again on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 18:22, 4 replies)

don't know whether it's just your toaster but....
the ejector seat thingy on my old toaster broke and I spent 3 years getting the toast out without shocking myself once. My usual method was to spear it from above with either a sharp knife or a fork, but given that toast was my standard post-pub snack, I missed more than once. Was never zapped though....
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 3:11, closed)

Or just get a toaster with a strong spring action
Hold down the ejector button and release at the right moment to make your toast shoot safely into the air.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 8:51, closed)

Seconded
I read the previous QOtW's and laughed at how silly they all were and how I, as the superior specimen, have never regretted anything that I've done and have always considered each scenario and outcome before expertly executing a well-thought out plan.

Then I read this 3 line smack in the face that jolted my memory into a deep regret that I once bleached my mind of.

My story is similar to your story with a few differences:

I was younger, about 15 (my only and rubbish excuse). I was in Malaysia, a country where no electrical circuit is earthed and air moisture can be around 100% during the rainy season.

The bread was stuck. It was burning a lot and was ready to supply the toaster and kitchen units with some of its burny-ness if no action was taken. "A Knife!" I thought. I promptly plunged my hand into the unorganised, jingling cutlery draw and drew out a small, pointy, metal knife.

I would first try the straight 1-2 approach; spearing and withdrawing it as a Spartan Warrior would - quick and painless. The motion proved effective but the toast simply slid off leaving an oily residue. This toast would not best me, I thought and tried again, with more furvence and aggression than before, *clink* the little, oily knife sprang out of my hands and fell in the toaster.

Mildly set back, there was now some burning toast and a small metal knife in there. Of course - the toaster was still plugged in. I was too involved in Spartan bread strategy to worry about plugs.

I know: I would try and launch up the ejector seat and fire out the toast and knife like a flourded-shrapnel cannon. The trigger-job was pulled all the way down, then heaved up with all my force. A scraping, metallic screech prefaced the knife lodging itself into the heating element (which, due to the depression of the trigger was now ablaze with 'lectrics and heat) and the toast wrapped its seedy-self around the knife in big, cozy blanket of annoyance.

"Ok so, let me think. Metal is magnetic, so all I have to do," (as I wink to myself thinking how clever I was) "is use a magnet to draw up the knife! Genius. So off I trot and raid the 'Science Experiments' kit for the magnet and there I stood. Me, the proud magnet (proud and strong) and the toaster, which was now quite angry at the bread and knife splinter inside of it. But wait. How can I get the magnet in, and back out? Surely once it’s in it will attach itself to the belly of the toaster? I NEED ANOTHER KNIFE! Archimedes would have been proud. I would attach the magnet to another, larger knife and stab the construction into the toaster. But before I do? The magnet might jump off the larger knife onto the internals of the toaster pulling everything with it - and electrocuting me! I can't have that, ok so I need to glue it on? No, the glue wouldn't set in time and would ruin the knife. Celotape? That would simply melt, as to get any leverage on the jammed-in bread the toaster button needs to be depressed, so that wouldn't work. It needs to be secure but detachable. I know - Clingfilm? No, again it would melt. This tinfoil will do just fine.

I psyched myself up, pressed the button labelled 'cook' and I then tried to fish out a small metal knife, wedged in the heating element of a 'lit' metal toaster covered in blackened toast, with a magnet on a larger metal knife, wrapped in tinfoil, clutching at it with the combined force of my quivering middle and ring-fingers (as they were the only ones that would reach).

I woke up 30 minutes after when luckily my parents got home. Cried, and asked that we don’t have toast for a while.
(Cogentesque, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 11:23, closed)