Water and Gentlemens Gel.
Whenever I have either been pleasured, or pleasured myself in the bath/shower, how come my baby paste congeals in to the most disgusting, glue that has ever existed and takes a significant amount of washing to get out. Usually I end up with crusty pubes for a couple of hours.

And every time I do...I realise why I don't do it that often.

Length joke, or time joke. Both substantial.
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 9:29, 10 replies)

Coagulants
Hello. Semen has both de-coagulants and coagulants in it. One to enable it to flow when you spooge, the other to keep it secure in your lovely lady's growler. The de-coagulants are easily washed away in water, leaving the coagulants to form a cement-like mess.

One failsafe way to keep your shower or bath nice and clean is, before you plan to take one, drive off in your lorry, find a cheap whore and fill her belly full of snot. It'll cost £3 more than a spray-bottle of Cillit Bang Grime and Lime, but you'll have had a lovely evening out with a beautiful girl who, most likely, will have an exquisitely aloof expression while you pound away.

You can save money on the tom if you slay her afterwards and dump her in a wood wrapped in old carpet, but this is a moral and legal grey area. Plus you'll get your bath or shower mucky later as you wash off the mud and blood.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 9:53, closed)

B3ta
Both educational and amusing .

click
( bane, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 10:01, closed)

Excellent.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 10:14, closed)

Two words:
posh wank.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 10:55, closed)

Well...
Try washing it off with cold water, I read somewhere that warm water encourages it to coagulate by altering the proteins and cold water keeps them there. There's more detail and more sciency stuff in there, but that's all I can remember.
(turkeywelder, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:14, closed)

Or a cold shower'll do it
actually probably best taken beforehand, to head off any frightful awfulness.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:27, closed)

Just wash after.. good soap should break down the sticky man goo.
(wankymcwankwank Eels, tobacconists, hovercraft and bouncy bouncy., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:19, closed)

Too much soap on the knob can encourage infections
Dull but true.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 11:53, closed)

Too little soap isn't right either..

dont scrub the knob.
(wankymcwankwank Eels, tobacconists, hovercraft and bouncy bouncy., Thu 30 Sep 2010, 12:17, closed)

What's the problem?
Just jizz over a selected page of a jazz-mag. True, this leads to jazz fusion, but then you can just throw the mag in the bin / a hedge.

What do you mean, "what's a jazz mag?"
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 30 Sep 2010, 12:03, closed)