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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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I was poor at uni
becuase I was a lazy cnut student that wouldn't get a job and was more interested in spending other people's money on booze for me.

The upshot is that I had very little money for food and lived for a week on peanut butter and jam sandwiches.

The following week I could afford only a bag of flour and some eggs. So using a few other ingredients I had lying around, I devised a sort of high energy biscuit which I lived off for a few days.

There was another time when I spent all my money on a second hand monitor rather than food and ended up eating the packaging for a couple of days (It was that rice based polystyrene stuff).

Finally, I wrote a letter to my old careers advisor at school who promptly sent me 4 bags of couscous.

I was very unhealthy at uni.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:21, 6 replies)
I like...
the idea of baking a high energy biscuit

a lot of people wouldn't think of that
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:25, closed)
How much energy could it HAVE though?
I think we need to know what the high energy special ingredient was...
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:31, closed)
The packing material
is made from corn starch, and is essentially exactly the same as Wotsits snacks, without the lurid orange colouring. So just add a little seasoning and you have free food.

I don't know if it would be generally regarded as safe for human consumption, but you've show that evidently it is. Probably safer than Wotsits actually!

However if it gets wet and you let it sit for a while it doesn't half stink.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:33, closed)
Mr. Doom
the secret high energy ingredient was sugar. I think recipe was something like this:


More of a cake recipe, except it wasn't self raising flour, that was 2p more expensive and thus out of my price range
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:03, closed)
Packing chips
The ones that look like polystyrene chips? Well, you can eat them, but I wouldn't... you see, we use them where I work, and we have problems with mice climbing in to the holding bags and making a nest as well as eating. Little mousey doesn't ned to move to shit as he's in with his food. So it's already full of mouse and mouse shit.

Solution? Poison (enough to kill the mouse, will give you a stomach cramp). On average the packers pick out three dead mice a day.

In conclusion, if you eat that stuff you may well have eaten corn starch, mouse shit, mouse poison and dead mouse.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 11:46, closed)
Sounds delicious!
Where's Heston when you need him? I bet he'd whip up something good with those ingredients.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 12:34, closed)

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