Mobile Repairs
Perhaps the best advice I can give you that I've learnt from working in a mobile phone repair shop is this: if you have any homemade filth on your phone, remove it from your handset before taking it in. That is, unless you don't mind deviant phone engineers watching your wife pleasure herself.

I've mentioned this particular example before, but it bears repeating. This chap bought his phone in, because it wouldn't turn on. Our engineer instinctively opened the phone up and checked for liquid damage, which there appeared to be a significant amount of. So, following a swift clean-up, the phone was back in working order.

Our engineer also instinctively checked to see if there was any pornographic videos on the phone that he could add to his collection. To his delight, he saw a close-up of a nice, juicy twat getting shafted by a bright white dildo. The action was rather boring, until the very end, when the woman jizzed everywhere, at which point she told the cameraman, "it's gone on your phone," so obviously the camera was actually a cameraphone. Then, a curiously familar voice replied, "don't matter, carry on..."

Need I go on? On further inspection, his wife's twat wasn't that juicy. In fact, it was rather mouldy.

*shrugs*
(Roll Fizzlebeef enjoys a good Cleveland Steamer, Thu 27 Sep 2007, 12:40, Reply)