I don't bother listening to travel bulletins anymore...
...because I used to read them.

it's pretty busy on shift, there's not always time to check with all the police HQs and traffic cams... and unless there's a big accident, the traffic's completely bloody predictable.

...so you develop a routine that goes something like this: (say it's 5pm)


*presenter cuts to you suddenly: spit out your mouthful of crisps into your hand*

"Good afternoon! Well, it's pretty solid through [mention lots of towns here, everyone likes hearing their town mentioned], in the usual hot-spots.

Motorways pretty busy too, especially [name motorway junction that's always busy, it'll be busy now, it's 5pm FFS].

*flick the Vs at arsehole co-worker, who's mooning against your studio window*

And those roadworks on the [insert A road number, known to approx 2% of your listeners] are still causing a few delays.

And something to watch out for tonight... "
[for 50 bonus points, invent problem on fictional B road.]

*suddenly remember that for 100 bonus points, you could try and fit in the word "buttplug" like your colleague has dared you to do*

..."If you're stuck in a jam, don't suffer in silence! Phone our Jamline on [whatever the number is], but plug in your handsfree kit first!"
*100 points! result!*

*Repeat until your shift ends. Or you lose the will to live.*

*Drive home from shift through all the troublespots you mentioned, knowing that NONE OF THEM ARE REAL*
( biscuitbiscuit is in ur garden, watering ur plantz, Thu 27 Sep 2007, 21:56, Reply)