went to drinks
at mahiki the other night. you have to book tables weeks in advance. we hadn't. however, when a group left, we stole theirs.

all was well until about 3am when we got asked very abruptly to vacate the table. oooh, we thought drunkenly. must be a celeb. must be a pretty good one if they are tipping paying people off tables. as it's prince harry's favourite bar, maybe it's him!!!

agog with silly tipsy pointless excitement, we danced around on our toes until the famous celeb arrived.... and it was.... it was.....



IT WAS DAVID FUCKING GEST.



david gest. the world's crappest celeb spot. slung off a table in a nightclub for That! disappointment number one. he had also brought along a troupe of dancing thai midgets, which was very bizarre. i guess they were the only people who were shorter than he was.

he bought one of those 650quid "treasure trove" cocktails that prince harry likes to spunk the taxpayer's money on, and danced on the booth for a bit. surrounded by midgets. then fucked off. we dove in for the untouched giant alcoholic goodness, but the bouncers swooped in and took it. just took it.

disappointment number two...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 22:17, 8 replies)

He's not a sleb
He's a rubberlipped fuckmonkey
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 22:22, closed)

I just had to look up David Gest in Wikipedia
to find out who he was.

I'd heard the name before but had no idea what he did.

And now I've found out he does nothing, in effect.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sun 29 Jun 2008, 22:27, closed)

All I can say is...
...time to change your local. If David Guest and some contorting midgets were my drinking buddies I think I'd turn teetotal.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sun 29 Jun 2008, 22:29, closed)

Hmm.
A few years ago I was in London's Hard Rock Cafe. After a while there was an almightly kerfuffle, staff running around all over to find a table. As I sat there with burger all over me gob, who should walk past but Posh and Becks...

They were the tiniest people I had ever seen.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 29 Jun 2008, 22:34, closed)

it's a good job you weren't eating
that ugly little waste of a wank would put anyone off their food.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 1:58, closed)

becky
has made me laugh with the word fuckmonkey. that is so going to be the word of the day for me!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 9:34, closed)

ah
a "number two" disappointment

These things will keep happening, I hear.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:01, closed)