Most recent disappointment...
Getting back from a great holiday with the Significant Other to be then told we were 'just friends'

*Sigh*

Still, at least I have her friendship if nothing else - and she really is a diamond :) (I'd marry her tomorrow)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:15, 32 replies)

Sounds......
Ominous
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:23, closed)

Sounds...
like it's going to end in tears when she shags your best mate. Run a fucking mile, my friend.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:27, closed)

Run far.
Failing that, hit the bottle, hard.

Or start digging a cellar.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:36, closed)

Yikes
That's not an easy one... Probably a good idea to put some distance there while you try and sort your feelings out...

Here's hoping it sorts itself out and you stay mates.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 1 Jul 2008, 10:50, closed)

As others, no doubt older and wiser than myself, have said:
Run fast and run far.
(Boar is dreaming of get rich quick schemes..., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:04, closed)

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!
Carry on hanging around her and you'll just end up getting hurt when she inevitably shags someone else, quite possibly one of your circle of friends if you invite her out with you.
( Kroney, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:06, closed)

Thanks
We'd been together over a year so it's one of two things:

1) She's scared we're getting too close
2) She wants to shag my best mate...

Personally, I want to believe it's 1), but y'all are right, time to put some space between us - it'll hurt like feck, but I've got to protect what's left of my sanity (over a year on B3ta too - that helps...)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:08, closed)

or
option 3: maybe she wants to be friends?

Could actually be true.

*awaits cynicism*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:16, closed)

@ crackhouse
We're so close, I actually do believe that. Seeing her with someone else will be hard though - and she's said the same about me.

Whoever said "It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." didn't have a clue...

*gets coffee & cheers up*

Thanks all
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:21, closed)

@Snee
Dude, I'm sure there were good times but how long has she been pretending to want you as something other than a friend? Apologies for tastelessness but I would imagine you nailed her on holidays, what, a matter of days ago? Decisions like the one she has made do not occur overnight. She, like many of her gender (awaits pasting :) ), is much-skilled in the art of deceit. (I have a theory on how they can do that based around their relationship with the truth being different to men's but thats another discussion). Get space NOW and if you can be friends in the future, then nice one.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:29, closed)

oi, baz!
Don't make me go over there and steal your Waits ticket from you, violently!

Men can be just as deceitful as women. Or just as fucked-up. Or just as game-playing. Sometimes people don't even realise they're doing it, the cocks.

We're all screwed. Best live as a hermit. Hermits don't need Waits tickets, ergo I'll have yours.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:38, closed)

@CHCB
I agree with you completely, my love! But in this example, I would bet your first born I've nailed it. Dude needs to protect himself above all and look to the future. If she's in it, well and good but best plan against it.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:43, closed)

@ Baz
This has been lurking around for a while.

I've had some experience of relationships before and I honestly think she's been honest with me all along (that's not just me being naive).

I know she loves me, just not the same way I love her. She's my best friend, and I'm hers - that's probably why she doesn't want to run the risk of us falling out as a couple and losing the friendship.

I can understand that - it's just raw right now.

A big manly hug to all the male b3tans who've replied, and cake to the ladies - thank you.
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:46, closed)

Snee
You really can't be her friend, at least not in the short term.

The first immediate problem is that you still lvoe her and she just wants you as a friend. That is going to hurt. A lot. It will hurt every time you see her.

The second problem is that she's going to find someone else and if you are going to be ok with that then you're a much bigger man than I.

Get some space, ditch the friendship. Leave it for a while and then cautiously make contact again.
( Kroney, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:49, closed)

@Snee
sound - again, look after No.1. I am friends with a couple of ex-lovers, the requited and unrequited kind and the active ingredient for success is space and time.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:52, closed)

Run, fast and far away!
I'd guess that she has already lined someone up and waiting for the all clear to bag them.

Get away, get your head sorted and then in six months if you still want to be friends get back in touch. It's easier for her to want to still be friends if she comes out of one relationship straight into another.
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:12, closed)

did you pay for the holiday?
if you did, chances are she would have dumped you sooner, but she wasn't going to pass up a fortnight in the sun.
if you didn't, she may be a head-wrecker or she may genuinely fewel more friendship-related love for you than the sexual kind.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:21, closed)

@ Smash Monkey
Actually, she paid for the holiday - refused my offer to pay.

All the advice in these replies has been what I know I should do, and will do...but as I'm sure you all know, it's sometimes harder doing what you SHOULD do.

Regardless of everything - I've got all the memories of us, and very few of them are bad. The sex was dirty and awesome and plentiful. Ah, memories...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:32, closed)

re: the sex
If you provide intimate details, we can point out the flaws. Everybody wins!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:35, closed)

This happened to me
Except I was the bitch doing the dumping. And no, I didn't have anyone else lined up, it just wasn't working any more.
A year on, I'm single (and happier than I was with him, yay) and he's engaged. So it might be the start of something beautiful for you.
(Moniker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:38, closed)

@Moniker
Then with all due respect, m'dear - it sounds as though you happened to him. Apologies if I'm missing something.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:41, closed)

@baz
Yep, I can live with that. Best thing that ever happened to him an' all.

Or something.
(Moniker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:45, closed)

@Moniker
sure there's no contempt like mutual contempt!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:49, closed)

@Moniker
Did you give him the 'just want to be friends' speech or just a regular breakup? And straight after a holiday.
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:50, closed)

@moonraker
I did do the whole lets just be friends thing, and it was when we got back from a working holiday. So almost.
(Moniker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 12:57, closed)

@Moniker
and are you still friends?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:02, closed)

@baz
We stayed friends for 8 months, until he got engaged and his fiancee banned him from all contact with me.
(Moniker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:05, closed)

@Moniker
then he's a pussy and you're definitely better off without him. If my woman tried that, I'd be alone and single, spending more time on the internet and masturbating too much in a flash! That would show her!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:07, closed)

I
couldn't agree more baz!
(Moniker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:10, closed)

Blimey
He did well to stay friends with you and meet the woman who he wants the spend the rest of his life with inside 8 months.

Well congrats on maintaining the friendship thing
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:15, closed)

@moonraker
Friendship? We haven't spoken since he told me he was engaged. Somehow, I've managed to lose all respect for him since then!
(Moniker, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:17, closed)

new
Or there's the all purpose answer to all things people related;
KILL 'EM ALL
Soz i cudnt offer ny real advice
(WilsonAlmighty, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 18:20, closed)