And He's Back....
.
Actually, I've never been away. I'm just posting less these days because my muse seems to have left me. I can't seem to string a decent post together no matter how I try. But The Loon reminded me of a story I'd told here before so I thought I'd repeat it. Can't be arsed to look up the original.

Anyways. Many moons ago I used to dabble in various alternative relgions, philosphies and cookiness. Just to see if there was anything actually in it. I devoured Von Daniken, lapped up Lyall Watson and even dabbled with Lobsang Rampa (aside: Go look him up. It's bizzare. He was a lorry driver from Devon who was suddenly taken over by a Tibetan Monk. So he wrote lots and lots of books and made lots and lots of money. Thousands of people really, truly believed he was a Tibetan Monk who'd swapped bodies with a lorry driver. They still believed even when said lorry driver couldn't speak Tibetan. It's staggering what people choose to believe..) And one of these alternate philosophies was the books of Carlos Castanda who claimed to have been taught South American magic by a witch-doctor called Don Juan. As most of these teaching seemed to involve taking lots of drugs (yay!) and meditating I thought I'd give it a shot.

So I did.

One of these exercises involved trusting your inner self. To do this you had to get outside of your body by meditating (I took the shortcut and got stoned as a bastard) and then running as fast as you could, with your eyes closed, through the countryside at night. Your inner self would automatically guide you away from harm.

Any idea how much it hurts when you run full-pelt into an oak tree?

I fucking do.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:11, 23 replies)

Yay!
*click* for drug-fuelled lunacy
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:13, closed)

*click*
for the haha.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:14, closed)

heh, *clicks*
because Castaneda is a pile of bollix and yet current-bloke is convinced it's the Truth and keeps trying to astrally project at bedtime. It never seems to work. And he's 35 and should know better.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:17, closed)

Lol
Reminds me of an acid head I knew who tried rubbing tiger balm into peoples' foreheads to help them open up their 'third eye'.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:17, closed)

Did similar in slo-mo
When I was about 12 I used to see if I could walk down our street with my eyes closed, until the time I walked smack into a gate-post.

Just glad no-one saw.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:19, closed)

A triumphant return!
*click*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:19, closed)

*Laughs*
I cannot belive you tried it.


Although I had a bash at trying to meditate myself outside my body. I almost did it once and it scared the shit out of me so I didn't do it again.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:20, closed)

Don't Know
about Tiger Balm but I know lot's about Tiger Powder.

I make it myself (the ingredients are secret) and scatter it around wherever I'm living. It stops tigers breaking in and killing you. Never failed yet.

It even works down here in Oz. Since I arrived, not one person in Melbourne has been killed by a tiger.

Powerful stuff.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:20, closed)

@BGB
I can. I've met the fucker...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:21, closed)

Glad to help.
I've been struggling to come up with much worth saying these days as well- I've already told most of my really good stories at least once in here.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:33, closed)

@The Loon
.
One of the things I love about you is that you seem to have read a lot of the books I have. Well we are Gentlemen Of A Certain Age but it still tickles me.

If only we could get some of these youngsters to read Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance then our job here would be done.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:40, closed)

@Legless
I have read it. Was recommended to me by my best friend who seems to run in similar esoteric circles to yourself.

I enjoyed it. No more, no less really.

*vaguely disappointed*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:43, closed)

Zen
Yup - read it and have just given to my 17 yo lil bro.

Has anyone read Lyra? Any thoughts?

EDIT: crap - sorry, Lila - thanks TRL
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:52, closed)

@Boss
I first read it in the mid 70's and then re-read it in the late 80's.

Made a more powerful impression 2nd time round.

And for some reason I can still remember the music I used to listen to 2nd time around - All Mod Cons, in particular, The Place I Love..

which I now have to go find and listen to. Ooops. There it is. I love the Internet.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:52, closed)

@Legless
I find, though, that even among people our age not many have read Zen or Castenada or the Tao Te Ching or the other books that I've found so interesting over the years. People have skimmed one or two of them and put them aside as not worth the effort, which is rather sad. So when I encounter someone who's read them also I know that I'm dealing with a strange bird that I'll likely get along with very well. They're a kind of litmus test.

Von Daniken! There's a name I had almost forgotten. He fascinated me as a young teen, until I realized that his claims were based solely on opinion and had damn little to back them up. But he did manage to inspire numerous episodes of "In Search Of", so at least he was entertaining...

Ever heard of Meher Baba? I very strongly recommend a quick Google search to you- a fascinating case that I can tell you some personal stories about!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:55, closed)

Yes, I've read Lila.
I think I need to read it a few more times to really get it, though- it was a bit less straightforward than Zen.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 13:59, closed)

@The Loon
Nope - missed him.

But most of my philosophical adventuring skipped the Eastern religions. Something there didn't mesh with my personality. Even Zen.

"It's not how you throw the punch that matters or if it lands or if it hits. It's how you throw the punch that's important."

Nope. Not for me. If I throw a punch, it's how it lands and how much damage it does that's important. That's the point.

And as for Zen archery contests (which I actually witnessed once), well........

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:12, closed)

Meher Baba
did not try to introduce a new religion- he tried to show that all religions are the same.

The reason I know of him is that my parents have a condo down the beach from here. I've stayed at the Center a few times now, and found it to be a fantastic place to go for some peace. But also I find the story of Meher Baba himself to be fascinating.

(I should add here that I'm not one of his devout followers, just someone who admires him and finds him interesting.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:24, closed)

hahahahahahahahaha!
you loony! everyone knows that trees will leap out and attack the unwary!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:26, closed)

Yup! read Zen and the art of motorcylcle maintainance...
I slowly ploughed through the whole thing and just didn't get it, but I was 18 at the time so maybe I ought to give it another go.



*Sings*

No matter where I roam
I will return to my English rose
For no-one can ever take her from me.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:28, closed)

@BGB
.
You bitch.

Just the sight of those lyrics took me back 20 years.....

And now Elvis Costello is in my head (good year for the roses) and won't leave..

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:40, closed)

@Legless
Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease.

Sister Christian
Oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one
To say O.K.
Where you going
What you looking for
You know those boys
Don't want to play no more with you
It's true

You're motoring
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight...

And now I feel the need for a shower.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 14:52, closed)

Lobsang Rampa
Lobsang Rampa? He was from Plympton. Apparently he was one of the local "characters". Bit of a Walter Mitty type.
( Stevedix http://www.stevedix.de/blog, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 15:46, closed)