I tried to relocate my own wrist after a cycling accident.
It didn't work. Mostly because I'd broken my arm as well. Owww...

I'd started off up a hill, and started to wobble. You know one of those wobbles where you know you're going to fall off? Well, I had a few seconds to make up my mind. Roll off into the road and risk being hit by a car coming over the hill, or stick out my arm and risk breaking it. I stuck out my arm, broke it and no car came. Then I tried to relocate my wrist by the side of the road, which was unwise.

It turned out that my wrist had dislocated because my arm bone had snapped in magnificent fashion, and I had to get surgery to wire it back together. It's not all bad though: they used staples so I now have an extraordinarily manly scar on my arm. If a lass asks me, I got it fighting off tigers in the Congo. It's only on the one arm because I was carrying an adorable Congolese orphan under the other.
And of course, the tiger didn't get the chance to strike again because I headbutted it to death. All without waking the orphan. Oh yes believer.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 13:43, 6 replies)

I have a scar that I got fighting for a woman's reputation
...apparently, she wanted to keep it.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 14:05, closed)

A tiger?
In Africa?
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 14:19, closed)

It was the pet....
...of the Warlord from whose jungle mansion I and my daring team of manly men had just liberated the orphan.

You see, hounds are no good in the jungle. With all those trees about, they spend too much time cocking a leg and not enough time tracking. So our erstwhile foe released the tiger, seconds before he, his cadre of mercenary thugs and everything he owned were consumed by a massive explosion of C4.
(Set by our demolitions expert, Mickey 'Fingers' McGee, a former IRA bomb-maker seeking to atone from his sins. When our detonators failed due to humidity, McGee heroically stayed behind to blow the place manually, God rest his soul.)
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 21 Jan 2011, 11:35, closed)

It was our own fault really...
we shouldn't have stalked him with raspberries.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 21 Jan 2011, 11:39, closed)

I did something almost exactly the same, wobble and all.
Didn't have to get the wires and everything though.

Ended up with a nice gravel/tarmac combo grazed cut all over my back. Not nice when you're 12.
(Brain Licker Follow me, I'm right behind you., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 15:38, closed)

Not enough
Drugs / Supermodels / Cheap Far East Cars.
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 17:52, closed)