The regimental MO was a butcher.
He had owned a rundown meat emporium on the wrong side of Essex before the war. Understandably the men went to any length to avoid coming under his care. Before long it became apparent the best course of action was to shoot off any injured body part. Fingers & toes were removed with a Webley .38, hands and feet with a Lee Enfield. Cartwright, the best shot in the regiment, was much in demand and would often be found Bren gunning the Hottentots by way of practice.
Of course Cartwright himself had shot off his own knob after catching a dose, though the rumour was it had been chewed off by angry Subaltern.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:36, 2 replies)

I like you, Brigadier.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:40, closed)

Shhh. Don't let Mrs B hear your whoring.
I'll warn you now, the last time I attempted physical activity more demanding that lifting a packet of Gitanes I shit myself.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:48, closed)

Using a searchlight to call up Batman?
I think you'll find it goes like this: "JENKINS! GET IN HERE AND POLISH MY BOOTS, YOU OAF!"
That's how you call up the batman.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 21 Jan 2011, 22:00, closed)