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This is a question Dodgy work ethics

Chthonic asks: What's the naughtiest thing a boss has ever asked you to do? And did you do it? Or perhaps you are the boss and would like to confess.

(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:36)
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I worked in a shop selling hand-made fudge. (Please note, I have heard all the fudge-packing jokes I can cope with in one lifetime.) As part of the job we had to pour out 22lb of boiling sugar onto a marble table. This takes two people as the pan is heavy and sugar solution at 118-122C is not exactly good for your skin.
It's pretty entertaining for slack-jawed tourists and small children to see all the fudge being made, and we would talk to them and feign interest in their observations.
The boss made me pour fudge with a complete idiot who turned to talk to customers who were behind him, sending a panful of fudge slopping towards my face. If it had actually hit me I would have been blinded from the heat and needed skin grafts, or it would have killed me. The turd who came inches from maiming me for life couldn't understand why I was irritated, and I still had to pour fudge out with the same light-fingered moron.
The boss's boss took an entire week's pay from me to pay for a rather silly uniform which I didn't even get to keep when I left.
If anyone wants to make Jim's fresh fudge for themselves, I'll be posting a version of the recipe in the replies.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:17, 11 replies)
If anyone wants to make Jim's fresh fudge for themselves, I'll be posting a version of the recipe in the replies.
Where? *looks around awaiting fudgey goodness"
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:20, closed)
I really hope everybody completely ignores the joke that is the elephant in the room

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:25, closed)
^^^^^^^
What Marmite miner said.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 15:28, closed)
Fudge packer.
Aaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:34, closed)
I have not changed my sig for the purposes of replying
Where's da fudge then?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:40, closed)

Make your own burns:
1kg sugar
1 dessert spoon of golden syrup
150 ml single cream
150 ml water

other stuff to taste - a few suggestions
1 large dessert spoon cocoa powder (add at the beginning of the process)
espresso coffee (add towards the end, but before you pour it out), chopped strawberries, nuts, vanilla flavouring, cinnamon, something alcoholic - but be careful, as alcohol boils at 70C and the fudge will be at about 120C so it will really boil off quickly releasing clouds of alcohol vapour - add these at the end.
Everyone's favourite herb won't really work in this as THC is fat-soluble and this does not have much fat in it.

Fill the sink with cold water. Put the sugar, water, syrup and cream (and cocoa) in a big pan and start heating it slowly, giving it a good stir with a long-handled spoon. The mix will double (at least) in size as you heat it and might spit at you, leaving permanent scars if you are unlucky.
Put a flat pyrex oven dish on a damp towel and get a wooden spatula ready.
Fill a jug with cold water.
When the fudge mix has small bubbles which are evenly distributed (or is at 120C) use a wooden spoon to drop some into the cold water. If it will form a soft ball when you finger it then it's at the right temperature. Quickly add any other flavouring.
Put the whole saucepan in the sink of cold water and stir it vigorously. When it starts to stiffen and has pale streaks pour it into the pyrex oven dish and keep stirring until it gets a bit stiffer, then stare regretfully at all the fudge left in the pan. Get a spoon and start chiselling it off (makes a good ice-cream topping) while waiting for the rest of the fudge to set completely.
If you want caramel fudge, heat the sugar and water until it turns golden, then let it cool but not set before adding more water and cream. It will still be very hot, so the extra water and cream will boil instantly. It tastes nice but it's pretty risky.
Any spills can be cleaned up with very hot water.

(Ninja-Edited because I explain things badly.)
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:44, closed)
I wish all recipes were written like this.
*click*
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:46, closed)
I'm going to read this as "Make your own bums" and snigger.
*snigger*
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:49, closed)
It isn't?
oh.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:50, closed)
Is this Jim Garrahy's in Cambridge?
It's shit fudge anyway.

Fudgepacker.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 14:45, closed)

Too sweet for many people and seriously overpriced, plus slightly embarrassing to encounter as one had to 'come in for a free sample' at the invitation of a probably under-aged young lady.
I'm not going to identify the location as this might identify me, and if you see my other post regarding trolls I very briefly had a fleeting internet notoriety because of a single-issue newsletter designed to make people indignant.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 15:04, closed)

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