Supermarket Megabastards
Picture the scene; You're in a poorly-staffed supermarket, where only a few checkouts are open. You join the least-bad-looking queue, behind at least one other customer who's piled up a mountain of food, drink, clothing, kitchenware and garden furniture. You wait patiently in line, with your four-pack of beer, loaf of bread and bag of Revels, watching the conveyor belt edge forward with the speed of a new series of Jim'll Fix It. More shoppers join the line behind you, piling on their groceries.

Then, another checkout opens. "Would you like to come round?", the checkout person calls out.

Before you have a chance to move, the shoppers who were in the queue behind you have gathered up their stuff, scuttled over to that checkout and dumped it all back down to be served straight away. Despite you having joined the first queue while they were still perusing the moist chod-wipes in aisle six, you're now in a worse position to take advantage of this newly-opened checkout, because you're stuck halfway down the queue whilst they were perched on the end. They're scanned, bagged, paid, out the door, across the car park and on their way home before you've even been asked if you've got a clubcard.

All I ask is that these people are shot in the face. Is that too much?
(costas, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 22:50, 11 replies)

No

( Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 7 Oct 2012, 22:52, closed)

I see it as a supply/demand issue.
There are more customers waiting than tills open so the supermarket meets the increased demand by supplying more till-monkeys.
Therefore the "new" tills are there to meet the increased no. of customers needing to be served.
Also we are all impatient, pushy, opportunistic wankers who will jump the queue at any moment.

I usually politely offer the new position to the person behind me - it makes me look polite, selfless & magnanimous.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 7 Oct 2012, 23:07, closed)

You should have been paying attention...
to monkey number two approaching the other till.
Sorry but you snooze you lose in this game.
( Sallyrsm, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 8:17, closed)

Here's the problem though;
I'm halfway up the queue. They're perched on the end. Their journey to the next till involves picking up their stuff and moving it over. Mine involves picking up my stuff, walking back up the queue (and having to squeeze past them, something with which I suspect they'd have an issue), then moving it over. The queue is effectively turned back to front.

This is why cashiers need to be armed.
(costas, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 21:37, closed)

Don't be daft
You're exactly no worse off than you were before.
( Fronds are waving gently on, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 9:17, closed)

I used to work as a checkout chap...
..(worst job when hungover), and when asked to re-open my till to relieve the queues, I'd always make a point of inviting the person who had clearly been waiting the longest to the front of my queue. Often some opportunistic queue-jumper would spy me moving toward my till and rush over. I'd politely tell them that someone else had been waiting longer and most saw my point immediately and said fair enough. Every now and again, though, I'd get filthy looks and muttering from some brazen scavenger who seemed to feel entitled to whatever advantage they could steal. One customer even argued with me about it once.

I was the only chick/chap who did it, though, from what I saw.
(filthytruck, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 11:54, closed)

This is how it should work!
Just occasionally, they will open a new counter and say "Who's next please?" but I agree it's the exception.

What they need is one of those "Checkout number 2" type single-queue systems but I guess for trolleys it's a it hard to implement. Makes adding tills much fairer, however.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 14:42, closed)

This makes you awesome.
I salute your doing-the-right-thing, even in the face of antagonistic pondlife. Thank you!
(costas, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 21:33, closed)

There's places around here where that appears to be the policy because they all do it. But I thank you for being nice enough to do it without the boss telling you to :)
(xanthine, Thu 11 Oct 2012, 5:08, closed)

so move quicker
lardy bastard
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 8 Oct 2012, 12:10, closed)

See
above. My speed is no match for the topsy-turvy queue issue.
(costas, Wed 10 Oct 2012, 21:38, closed)